The Big Mac
On my way to the train station today I realized I was late, and while desperately craving for something to eat, decided that I would commit the ultimate crime (which I normally do once or twice a year): eating junk food at McDonald's.
As I sat down with a greasy hamburger, it just struck me: "Hey, this place functions the exact same way as modern democracy does." No really, think about it. You have the smiling idiots standing by the counter, most times young people looking for a quick buck, barely being able to manage a simple menu. They present the options as if you'd have a "freedom of choice", while the truth is that you basically choose between eating compressed grease or drinking liquid sugar. "Hi, would you like a democrat or a republican?" "Umm, they look kind of different, but I think I'll have a democrat, since I voted republican last year. Is the Coca Cola included in the price?" The menus are presented in a way so that any moron is able to combine meat + drink + chips, and still reach a mainstream result that really wouldn't differ much from your neighbour. According to democratic McDonald's-logic, this is the way to reach heaven.
When you've received your greasy meal, it's time to sit down next to fat, lazy, and oversocialized idiots that wolf down large amounts of sauces and hamburgers. This is where you realize you've been tricked: "What the...$7 for a Big Mac that looks half as big, half as tasty, but tastes twice as greasy as I'd expected."  Indeed, the flashy ads that they show you are equal to the promises our democratic politicians make every year. They'll cut down unemployment, they promise to rescue us from terrorism (although they obviously have no problem starting new wars for no apparent reason), to "end racism" by enlighten us of why multiculturalism is a such a great idea, and generally fill you with all kinds of promises for the future. Never mind that the whole Western society is collapsing from within, at least we receive our Big Macs in time, right?
Behind the counter, people stand and make hamburgers and heat up chips. It smells of grease, coffee, and money. I say money, because we all know that someone must make a whole lot of cash on these hamburger places. Just imagine how many people that visit these fast food restaurants around the country each day, partly because they're already so fat that another round of Big Macs won't make any noticeable change, partly because it's cheap and comfortable, but of course, also because most people who go to these places are both lazy and stupid. They can't cook their own food, so they order home a bunch of Chinese noodles and congratulate themselves for being multicultural and modern (when it comes to buying fast food or voting, we're all as equal as we can get, aren't we?). As within democracies, the people at McDonald's consume themselves to death, while clever businessmen in the background laugh at people's stupidity and count the money: "Oh yes, vote for freedom, we'll take care of your modern burdens." This is not a conspiracy, these are fellow human beings exploiting each other's stupidity and selfishness, to satisfy greed and lust for power.
I honestly feel sick watching these people cram down unhealthy food, probably going home to watch TV and voting for another series of imperialist wars, globalist company revenues, and multicultural gang wars. Sooner or later you reach the point where you feel like walking up to that fat, loud-mouthing woman and tell her to take her kids home and cook something that won't make them bounce on their ass before they reach puberty. Of course, if you'd actually do that, you'd be told off for being "intolerant" or "full of hate". You see, that's the funny thing about McDonald's and democracy: they say it's "freedom", but if anyone points out it's an insane lifestyle that's killing our society, nature, and culture (what's left of it) from within, you have suddenly trespassed the boundaries of what's OK to do or say. At that point, you'll either become labelled as a neo-nazi or as a terrorist. In both cases, you're pretty much wasted. That's democracy and fast food thinking in a nutshell: black and white, intelligent and stupid, beautiful and ugly - we all walk hand in hand while paying overprices for something that in the end, really hurts us more than feeds our mind and body. Next time you're ordering at McDonald's, ask for a bankruptcy.
by Alex Birch
February 9, 2007
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