Attitudes to love and commitment have changed in recent times and the "emancipation" of women has played an important part in changing the culture in this way. Now that women are not financially dependent upon men and can prevent themselves falling pregnant the whole balance of sexual relationships has transformed. Marriage is still considered to be meaningful to most people even if it doesn't last. It is a formal declaration of trust and agreement to cooperate, although the extent of this varies widely.

Being married is supposed to bring a sense of reassurance that there is no pressing need to be on the look out for another partner. A cliché of this is that once married, people stop trying to present themselves well, and let themselves go, becoming fatter, unfit and taking their husband or wife for granted in various ways. If one partner goes too far in this direction however, the other may well feel that they want out of the relationship. In the past, when life expectancy was lower and life was harder there was less chance to get bored with each other and more dependency upon each other for practical survival. It was an inevitable product of civilization that the institution of marriage would be affected adversely.

For a marriage to last it must be based upon more than sex and financial security and more than an unintended pregnancy. Courtship is something that is so rare now that it is often considered freakish. There is an assumption that sex must take place at the very start of a relationship before finding out more about the other person. If women don't agree to this they are often dumped by their boyfriends. This is a big mistake on the part of the woman.

Firstly, giving in to sex too early can cheapen her and blights prospects for the future of the relationship. Secondly, what these women fail to realize is that if the man was a genuine prospect for a lasting partner he would not mind waiting a reasonable amount of time. How long would vary but the important thing is for both partners to have taken the effort and interest to find out a lot about the the other. They should hold off having sex ideally until they are properly in love.

If they do not, then love itself may elude them. In the case of people who habitually have casual sex, romantic love will probably never be experienced by them. They fall into the trap of thinking sex is love and that there is little more to it than that. Even those who marry, often marry because they are sexually compatible and never explore anything beyond this. Being in love is also not enough basis for a marriage, because the initial "honeymoon period" of elation will not last beyond a few years, and then reality hits home. The couple must like other things about each other and have tastes that do not clash. They must keep their relationship from stagnation by always showing interest in each other and physical closeness such as a kiss and cuddle every day.

It is naïve to imagine that there would never be arguments in a relationship, or to feel like ending it when one occurs. A successful relationship involves talking through problems and resolving them. Tempers will flare almost inevitably, but once the emotion has calmed it should always be possible to make up.

It is important to love someone for who they really are, not some kind of fantasy, and not to have intentions of changing them. People can change over time, perhaps becoming easier to live with, or perhaps becoming very difficult. We should not have unrealistic illusions, but at the same time it is best to think of the things we like best about our partner and not try to concentrate on negative points. That is not to say that negative points should be ignored either. If it is something trivial then it should be overlooked, but anything that really annoys should be discussed and resolved at an early opportunity since leaving things to fester results in a molehill becoming a mountain, at which point it can be very serious.

Relationships are about give and take, not just taking. Often people demand that others respond in the way that is expected of them. They may put their partner on a pedestal, expecting more from them than they can ever deliver. And when they fail to live up to what is wanted, it causes feelings of betrayal, resentment and frustration. We must avoid ending up in a parasitical relationship where we love someone because we need them. It should always rather be the case that we need because we love. With the right approach, it is still possible for marriage to be a meaningful expression of love between two committed individuals who are prepared to put in the necessary effort.