Sex
Our society is obsessed with sex. Teenagers think they're adults by having children at 15, young couples base their entire "relationship" on sex, virtually every TV-program includes some form of erotic segment to attract an audience, and pornography has become a commercial lifestyle. While the older generation remains conservative on this issue and deem it as "immoral," the younger generation sees its chance to "rebel" against their grandparents and breed like rabbits. In the middle of all this, one has to ask oneself: "What are we hiding?"
Sex, like eating or defecating, is a physical function that fills a basic human need; breeding, thus securing the existence of our species. This is why the conservative moralism is silly; why should we ban or taboo things that are a natural part of our existence as human beings? The modern individual recognizes this and thinks to himself; "OK, then the opposite has got to be the right thing to do." This linear reactionary thinking, as we will see, is in fact a dead end.
Sex for its own sake is heroin addiction with a thicker needle. 1
The current debate about these issues, especially about sexual liberation, often stands between conservatives and liberals. To most people, these are the only two options you're allowed to choose between. But what if we're interested in a middle way? What if we don't want to ban sex and make it "ugly" and "dirty," but at the same time think it's moronic to have children with ten different people that you don't love?
Sex has become another way for people to hide their internal dysfunctions. They feel alienated, bored and lonely, so they seek up temporary partners and hope to find meaning in life while sleeping with unknown neighbours.  Of course, this doesn't work out in the long run. Sooner or later that orgasm is gone and you wake up lonely in the middle of the night, wondering who you are and what your life is all about. If you come to the conclusion that you're selling your body cheaply to people that don't care about you, chance is that you'll want to keep on sleeping and never wake up again.
I argue that we must find a new view on sex, and on any activity in general, that is an inevitable part of our existence. We must see the activity for what it is, and then try to find meaning when doing it. In ancient indo-European societies, marriage was a way of finding meaning in the act of breeding and forming a family, as the basis for a stable community. It wasn't seen as "immoral" to sleep around, but nonetheless viewed as dysfunctional, since it broke up families and thus contributed to destabilize the community as a whole. Sex was seen as natural but at the same time something magical and beautiful. This is the key, I think, to find a new sane view on sex again.
If we are able to look beyond the pity conservative moralism of yesterday, and reject the lost behaviour of our lonely teenagers today, we reach the final conclusion: we should have sex with the people we love, to have children, form families, and contribute to our community. If you feel confident in yourself, you have no reason to sleep around with whatever comes in your way, because you will naturally look for a stable relationship built on trust and compassion, not the kind of cheap temporary flirts we see today, that most often is a product of two individuals not knowing who they are or what they want. Let us not moralize and not rebel against what is useless; let us be aware of our own identity and find someone who appreciates it, to be able to one day see a future generation experience the beauty of things that we have. We owe it to them and we owe it to ourselves.
by Alex Birch
May 15, 2007
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