Frank Azzurro's Blog

Frank Azzurro's Blog

Frank Azzurro resides in New England, and fills time between work and blog posts with fine scotch whisky or German lager, whichever is readily available. Activites include cooking organic meals and pursuing outdoor activities. Life pursuits include the now Quixotic vision of the original Thirteen Colonies and freedom from most government regulation. Reading and being in the company of friends are favorite past times when not being awarded with money for punching numbers into spreadsheets.

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Response to: Freedom: root of conservatism?

Further to Brett's post about freedom, I have to say that I unfortunately agree with him.

Even a promising group like the first Tea Party members had a good idea: Let's talk about why the government taxes us so much and gives it to the disorganized among us instead of rewarding productive members of society. Further, let's take some of the language from the Constitution and look at it with fresh eyes. Any document gets a bit blurred after two hundred some odd years.

I've said elsewhere that I feel Ron Paul would be the best candidate for the job of President, not only because of what he would do, but because of what he would not do. If he truly held to his ideals (which are much more specific than platform-speak we get from other candidates), he would:

  • Cut the military's budget by at least half - not because he's a wimp, but so that our military operations would follow policy and become more streamlined & efficient.
  • Decentralize the executive office such that government would be allowed to flow as intended.
  • Stress the importance of states & local municipalities being left to run smaller groups of people as needed. This is much easier to manage and it's much easier to agree on things in smaller, more homogenous groups.

Paul would likely not state the last point as his own belief. But by definition, decentralizing authority at the federal level leads to states & smaller authorities exerting more power. Not more power to control smaller masses, but rather empowering smaller groups of people to implement more specific sets of values.

The Roe v. Wade decision is a good example of what has gone wrong in our society. It was much less about abortion than about separation of powers. The judicial branch acted as a legislative branch in that decision, which under law is unconstitutional. The system of checks & balances in place allows the judicial branch to make those rulings unchallenged, though later, the legislative branch can pass a law outlawing abortion until its challenged in court again. No effective challenge has been issued.

Why not? Because our definition of freedom and rights and liberty is too vague, thus we fear what would happen if someone challenged any freedom given to any group of people regardless of how that "freedom" came about. Per Brett, freedom has to be freedom from something. Were we not "free", before? And when was before?

Back to the Tea Party crowd and most Ron Paul supporters, platitudes have become more important than a goal. Freedom has become a goal in itself, and people celebrate that goal. Ron Paul himself can be more specific on the issue and frequently is on his own blog, much moreso than any of his supporters. He'd be a fool to alienate the people supporting him, however, by bothering them with specifics.

But at least Paul would decentralize authority and allow government to flow more organically. I've stated before that he is a bit too strict a Constitutionalist and is very careful to not state anything about his personal beliefs on society's values. As President it wouldn't be his job to impose those values on anyone (in his view). This is concerning for, say, people who want to see nature and the environment stop playing second fiddle to humanity's endless expansion and consumption. The Constitution doesn't mention that, so strict constitutionalism doesn't address some very pressing modern concerns.

So then, what about those who want to be "free" from humanity's wasteful & destructive habits? As Brett summed up quite nicely, freedom simply has too many meanings to be a goal in itself.

Movies: Total Recall

Total RecallOn its surface, the Paul Verhoeven film Total Recall is pure action, with tongue-in-cheek bits of futuristic pop culture making it little more than a nice conversation piece.
Taking a deeper look, and knowing that the film is loosely based on the Philip K. Dick short story, "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale", we know that this is a story of identity. This is something director Paul Verhoeven is known for, in other efforts such as Robocop and Basic Instinct.

In the film, Douglas Quaid has unsettling but strangely attractive dreams of being on the planet Mars. He is married with a regular type of job. But one day, he tempts fate and visits a facility called "Rekall", which sells memory implants. Their specialty is called the fantasy package, creating the illusion that you once were a secret agent. Of course, Mr. Quaid orders the Mars Secret Agent package, and the doctors who perform the implant procedure discover a "memory cap" - implying that he was someone different and someone planted him in a false life. With a cast of misfits to guide him, Quaid finds his way to Mars to finish the mission he once started.

As much as the film is about identity, Ronny Cox's brilliant portrayal of villain Vilos Cohagen implies it's also about control. If you can control someone's identity, you can make them do just about whatever you want. At some point, this plan foils, because nature, for lack of a better term, ultimately breaks free, as people become who they are meant to be in the end. You may be successful with the first one hundred or first one hundred million minds or identities you try to control using artificial force, but part of the lesson here appears to be that eventually, a strong mind will break free and become something greater.

In the end, it's left up to the viewer as to whether or not Quaid becomes that hero, as reality is a relative term in this universe. The ideas in the movie are very dense, the layers profound, but Hollywood unfortunately did not have the patience to explore those - it was too tempted to turn it into a smash-mouth Arnold flick.

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Alcohol Review: The Lagavulin 16 year (compared to Laphroaig 15 year)

The LagavulinAlex and Martin have abused the alcohol tag for too long with reviews of beer. Today, we're reviewing one of man's finest creations: single malt scotch whisky, specifically one of the Islays - the wonderful Lagavulin 16 year.

I traveled to Scotland last year and tried a whole bunch of different scotch whiskies, single malt only. I can't even remember all the names of different scotches I sampled, but Lagavulin and Laphroaig stuck out as two of the best I tried on my trip. Once I found a couple that I liked, I stuck to them - I realized that as little as I know about the different regions, origins, ingredients, etc. of a fine single malt, I knew that I liked Islays the best out of any others I had tried.

I've found that many compare the Lagavulin to Laphroaig, another Islay. As I am somewhat picky with what I drink, I compared the Lagavulin to Laphroaig 15 year vs. the standard ten year product.

LaphroaigLaphroaig doesn't have quite as rich an amber color to it as Lagavulin, nor does it have the long, sustained drive of smoky expression. Both are great, but Lagavulin seems to add that extra bit of complexity, reflected in its color and scent, and has a deep peaty flavor. Lagavulin stays with you a while and is an acquired taste. Thus, if you're not used to drinking scotch whisky, particularly Islays, stay away and try something a bit lighter, even a blend, and get a good idea of what you like and don't like as you work your way up in terms of strength of flavor and smokiness.

Some prefer scotch on the rocks. Personally, I only drink it neat, and for a scotch as complex as the Lagavulin, I would recommend doing likewise to experience the full flavor. This is one of those scotches that you'll be proud to drink once you've developed the taste; the smoky aftertaste is so strong, it may even keep you warm on a cold winter's night. It's easy to imagine that's what the distillery had in mind when creating this fine spirit.

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Conservatism Is Winning: Real Solutions

Someone commented on Alex's recent post re: conservatism and poses the question: how do you support modern day Conservatism with lower-case-"c" conservatism - meaning, how does Corrupt support some elements of free market ideology while simultaneously advocating that people contribute to and help revive organic culture in their own towns? The two seemingly are at odds, but we like to look at history, learn from it, and propose solutions that would work for people who care about a sustainable future.

Since we have history to fall back on, we realize that, for example, in the European model, talented young folks would leave small towns and make their way into cities so they could indulge in culture, arts, science, etc. In the US, though we started out with cities (colonies) and spread into farmland instead of the other way around, our talented folks have the same tendencies - to migrate to cities where they have more resources with which to realize their full potential. So the commenter is asking, what's the solution to this - we need to keep a mobile labor force as America has to support some of the free market ideology, while simultaenously encouraging most people to stay in the towns in which they grew up - or at least find a place where their values are shared with most other members of the community. For example, if you love sodomy, maybe you can enjoy a community of people who are open about their love for sodomy, and so forth. For those who love math and science, there would be communities undoubtedly built with many labs and universities.

I think Michael Arth may have found a good start to a compromise between the two seemingly conflicting ideas. In his model, you're certainly not forced to stay in one place, but if more of our towns and cities looked like his pedestrian villages and you add the element of people living with others who share their values, people wouldn't need to always be on the go because everything they need would mostly be within walking distance. I understand this would require huge amounts of rebuilding within our existing infrastructure, but it's crumbling anyway, so why not rebuild it properly? A movement toward a better, more sustainable culture will be gradual, and what we propose in part are the first steps toward combining the best elements of our existing society and balancing them out with necessary, functional elements like the free market.

Movies: Fight Club

Fight ClubFight Club is, at first, a dark comedy about an individual lost in modern society. He lives in a condo, eats junk, and has an addiction to buying furniture - because what the hell else is he going to do with his money as a single, well-paid, obedient member of the middle class? He also develops insomnia and looks at the world through a very dark lens: flourescent lights in his office keeping everyone satiated like monkeys in a cage; constant caffeine and junk addiction with piles of trash all around; the false sheen of the world in the form of corporate offices and airports. There are some great one liners early on ("this is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time") and some very clever moves by director David Fincher to make this Chuck Palahniuk novel come to life on the screen. The little we learn of Jack's past seems to paint a picture of a generation, which makes for good metaphor and necessarily complicates Jack's character to make him more interesting.

The real fun, however, begins when our main character meets a fellow business traveler named Tyler Durden. Phase I of this mission of a film is to critique modern society lightly and playfully, while Jack (played wonderfully by Ed Norton) trudges through life and support groups he has no business going to, just so he can "cry and sleep". Phase II is the process of Tyler warming Jack up to the idea that there are more important things in life than lightly poking fun of society even while doing nothing about it, in classic hipster fashion, and asks Jack to do him one simple favor - "I want you to hit me as hard as you can." This blossoms into an underground movement of Jack-a-likes; business men who travel and deal with corporate nothingness all day who simply need to feel something real. Many of these followers, named "space monkeys" in hilarious fashion by Tyler, fall into line and do what they are told because they know that destroying modern society and following a strong leader for a worthy cause is much better than continuing to live with no goals and no leadership. As Tyler says - "we're the middle children of history, men - no purpose or place. We have no great war; no great depression..our great war's a spiritual war; our great depression, is our lives."

While entertaining in its own right, Fight Club ultimately fails to answer a question it can't help but pose to attentive viewers with its nihilistic attitude toward modern society: It's all well and good to destroy a society if people are so helpless that no other method will do (think the wonderful Ra's Al Ghul in Batman Begins) - but what then? The complete picture is outside the scope of the film and these questions are not answered, neither by Chuck Palahniuk (author of the novel), nor by David Fincher (director). It's too bad, because the film seems to almost get there but can't quite make the leap, focusing instead on the main character's ultimate decision to fix his own twisted mind instead of using the immense amount of energy he's built to help rebuild society. This film focuses entirely on the destruction of modern society while taking some fun jabs at it, and for those purposes, it's worth a watch - you'll find yourself rewatching it many times over the course of years, and thinking to yourself on what a society built by Jack and Tyler Durden would look like.

Whole Foods CEO John Mackey Serves Up a Healthy Dose of Reality

Whole Foods CEO John Mackey, considered a "maverick" in the industry by many, keeps his executive salary at $1 per year (a la Steve Jobs), caps other executive's compensation, and despises labor unions for their abuses and market-altering negotiation tactics. He is also a self-described free market libertarian.

On his blog recently, he shared an unedited version of a Wall Street Journal article that captured his feelings on the health care reform buzz, which has stricken this country over the past couple of months.

I fully realize that there are many opinions on the healthcare debate, including inside my own company. As we, as a nation, continue to discuss this, I am hopeful that both sides can do so in a civil manner that will lead to positive change for all concerned. You are welcome to share your thoughts in the comments section below.

On his first point, he tries to make his own customers understand that he, too, is someone with his own opinions about important issues, and as a leader in the business community is asked to write for publications like the Wall Street Journal. While it's important to understand that business leaders need to reflect a fair attitude about things so as to keep up public appearances as a compassionate member of a community, Mackey did a good job trying to head off the mob by indicating he feels we have a long way to go before we simply push the button on "free health care", hence the heated debates. So why did this create such an uproar among his "fans"? Could it be he used that dirty word, socialism, and also pointed out the major flaw in all this - that despite rising income and sales taxes across the nation, our country is still broke and Medicare & Social Security Benefits - health care benefits, mind you - would be borrowed from in order to help fund this, the biggest irony of all?

“The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money”-Margaret Thatcher.

With a projected $1.8 trillion deficit for 2009, several trillions more in deficits projected over the next decade, and with both Medicare and Social Security entitlement spending about to ratchet up several notches over the next 15 years as Baby Boomers become eligible for both, we are rapidly running out of other people’s money. These deficits are simply not sustainable and they are either going to result in unprecedented new taxes and inflation or they will bankrupt us.

While we clearly need health care reform, the last thing our country needs is a massive new health care entitlement that will create hundreds of billions of dollars of new unfunded deficits and moves us much closer to a complete governmental takeover of our health care system. Instead, we should be trying to achieve reforms by moving in the exact opposite direction-toward less governmental control and more individual empowerment. Here are eight reforms that would greatly lower the cost of health care for everyone:

HealthReformAll of what Mr. Mackey says is true: we're already knee-deep in an economic mess, and since money isn't free, someone has to fund this. Why rush this through, especially as public opinion is ever so slowly swaying toward a more reasonable solution? Also consider that we can't fund health care at the moment, even while President Obama risks his "man of the people" reputation by having to increase taxes.

The fact is, people like big symbols instead of reality, and so supporting "free health care" and a bill no one has even read outside of maybe a few people in Congress takes precedence over reasoned discussion on important topics. Some of the reader comments on Mackey's blog are laughable, where customers promise to never shop at Whole Foods again and even call for Mackey's dismissal by the Whole Foods Board of Directors. These comments are likely all from people who have never even read a Congressional proposal in their lives and have no idea what "free health care" means for the quality of their future medical care, the cost out of pocket to most of us, and how hospitals and procedures might change for better or worse as a result.

In attempting to strip away the layers of social reality and expose solid facts, Mr. Mackey only angered the liberal greenists who like their symbols big and loud. When anything gets in the way, especially reality, they look at the Whole Foods logo with hate and disgust, because they want those logos and the people behind them to do all the work, forgetting that they are a part of society who can help make a difference. "If I just shop at Whole Foods", the logic goes, "I'm doing my part to help make the world better - I'm shelling out my hard earned cash [conveniently, another symbol], so how could I be wrong by doing nothing but directing that money toward a Green business like Whole Foods?" Mackey showed them how, and they didn't like what they saw.

Metrosexuals Finish Last

Men who live in or near major cities have an odd modern challenge when it comes to meeting women: they have to "play the game" to meet as many women as possible and then choose from a crowd of them. This is because on the dating scene, no one is truly honest with each other in the beginning, and one always tends to find plenty of broken people in their path to finding the right one; a product of our modern social constructs at work, in our neighborhoods, and especially on the internet.

This apparently holds true even for men who hold great disdain for the so-called "game":

Q: I am a 33-year-old male. It seems to me like a man has to play games to get a woman to like him. I consider myself a nice guy. I have no problems getting dates, but it seems that if I am myself around women, they always end up telling me I'm "too nice" and they usually end up sleeping with or dating one of my friends, who isn't a nice guy. Eventually, I decided to stop being nice, intentionally, and start acting kind of cocky and indifferent to women. All of a sudden, the women I dated would be crazy about me, and constantly calling or texting me. They couldn't get enough of me, and it would be fun for awhile, but eventually I would get serious with someone and I wouldn't be able to keep up the act any longer, so I would start being nice and they would lose interest and break up with me. My question is, why do so many women say they want a nice guy, but in reality they don't? Why do woman like jerks? I want so much to find one nice woman, who really wants a nice guy, and who would appreciate me, but I've been dating for 17 years and have yet to find one. Should I keep trying to be myself? It hasn't worked for me so far -- or should I be this cocky and arrogant jerk that women seem to go for?

DatingAfter reading the whole letter, it's tough to actually believe this is truly a nice guy who just keeps striking out - just think George Sodini. Like Sodini, there are other issues at play here; it's very likely by "nice", the writer is referring to the fact that he blends in with the crowd, discusses topical issues of the day that he reads about on Yahoo!, and buys the right products as well as having a nice smile. A huge warning sign that his personality is constructed out of thin air, though, is that he's able to turn off "nice" and turn on "cocky and indifferent" at will, something that's completely ignored by the columnist:

NGDFL, are you dating women your own age? I’m pretty sure that most mature women prefer nice guys. Try to date women who are peers. Try to date women who you’d describe as nice.

I'm also wondering how you define nice. Nice can be a problem if it means passive. Nice can be bad if it means wishy-washy. It's important to be assertive in relationships. Not mean, but honest and real. People want to feel as though they’re getting to know the real you. That means bad moods and all. If you’re working hard to be sweet and polite all the time, you might seem “too nice,” as in lacking the layers of personality that most people look for in a partner.

The columnist is so shaken by the idea that modern women could be called out for being psychologically broken, that she starts right in with assumptions: you must be dating college chicks who just want to party; your definition of nice must be wrong if you're striking out for so long.

And one wonders why guys like Sodini exist? Both here are wrong: The metrosexual's definition of "nice" is likely an issue as it's probably closer to "bland and uninteresting" in reality, combined with the idea that part of some women still want a Marlboro-Man-esque cowboy to come sweep them off their feet. Since these truths are politically incorrect, career types trudge on into the battlefield of bars and matchmaking websites, becoming more cynical instead of less in the dating process.

Links: A Better Future

The Corrupt staff has collected some links geared toward making the future a better place.

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Confused In A Multicultural Society

Similar to school busing policies from the 1960s through today, a sudden influx of a new element - racial or otherwise - is sure to cause alarm and surprise from people who were going about their lives. This isn't about black vs. white, but more about different cultures being thrown together suddenly with no advance warning:

"I heard this lady, she was like, 'Uh, what are all these black kids doing here?' She's like, 'I'm scared they might do something to my child,'" said camper Dymire Baylor.

"When the minority children got in the pool all of the Caucasian children immediately exited the pool," Horace Gibson, parent of a day camp child, wrote in an email. "The pool attendants came and told the black children that they did not allow minorities in the club and needed the children to leave immediately."

"There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club," John Duesler, President of The Valley Swim Club said in a statement.

No doubt Al Sharpton will now move on from the Michael Jackson frenzy of the past couple of weeks.

It's easy to view this as, "poor black kids get thrown out of pool area". Well, the director of the club has two options here: play the "don't be a racist!" card, allow anyone into his private club, and risk losing all his other business, which would certainly change the complexion of the club. Alternatively, he can continue to keep the club private and not allow a sudden influx of children to suddenly make his club a day care center instead of a private country club atmosphere.

Since this is a story involving blacks and whites, of course you'll hear the curt little remarks: "What are all these black children doing here?", etc. You'll also see the media sensationalize the black vs. white element because they want to get everyday people enraged about something, so they can stop worrying about Michael Jackson or Obama's approval ratings and move on to the next hot news story (read: sit through advertisements). But in reality, this is just another highlight of what's wrong with diversity in our culture and how poor an idea it is.

Equal rights for all to go and do as they please usually means, lashing out by the peasants - regardless of race.

And The Old Becomes New Again

Human civilization works in cycles; that much should be obvious to any astute observer. Hopefully, this is an indication we're evolving back into a somewhat sensible species:

The four-year liberal arts college has given up tractors in favor of oxen to plow and hay. It’s installed solar collectors atop a barn roof to heat water for its two-cow dairy operation. Carbon dioxide emitted from the metabolisms of 80 chickens is shared with a next door greenhouse where CO2 levels can dip during the winter.

“Modern agriculture is heavily reliant on oil and other fossil energy sources – it’s extremely inefficient, with more than 20 calories required to produce and deliver one food calorie to a consumer’s plate,’’ said farm manager and ecology economist Kenneth Mulder. The college's effort is helped in large part from a $110,000 grant from the Jensen/Hinman Family Fund.

But if future farming is to be more local and sustainable, he believes students should be exploring organic growing in the context of traditional farming practices. It also gives students a more “intimate relationship” with the farm.

This is a good step forward from simply slapping an "organic" label on a fruit and selling it at Whole Foods. While this will inevitably be turned into a marketing ploy to get people to pay high prices for organic goods from this farm, the idea is nice: using a real life example to show people that we can still simplify society; that there is reward in doing things efficiently, building character the old-fashioned way. And this is in Vermont, where for at least two seasons per year, farming is nearly impossible.

If we are going to use electricity and power for anything on a regular basis, it should be for things like farming. So the point may be lost on people who care about power seats in their cars or, worse, power reclining sofas for their living room (sadly, I think these do exist, even for those not stricken with handicaps). While realizing that it would be difficult to give up modern day conveniences most don't even see, such as certain farm machinery, it's also important to understand that without huge growths in population, these machines never would have existed for the purpose of making farming ultra-efficient as farming is best suited to being localized instead of nationalized as it is today.

America: Is The Revolutionary Spirit Gone?

A week ago I was at a bar with some friends, celebrating a milestone birthday, at a typically trendy yet historic area of Boston. Many of these bars were frequented by the likes of Paul Revere and Samuel Adams. As I was facing my friend, I looked up at the wall above his head and saw a picture of Revolutionary War-era patriots with tricorne hats...drinking, scheming, thinking of ways to not only break away from the tyranny of the British empire but also thinking of ways to convince their fellow working-class Colonial citizens to do the same.

Then I looked around the bar. The band was decent for a bar band but they didn't seem to know any songs past 1996. The women were dressed with glittery dresses, with friends or boyfriends, and the men were baseball cap-wearing zombies with little to offer except their outward appearance - ripped jeans, maybe an ironically trendy label on a shabby t-shirt.

greendragon

This is a far cry from the brave leaders who saw America for what it could be instead of what it had been. However America turned out, those first hundred years or so saw men who risked their lives to set up a form of government which worked when the elite were allowed to rule and liberties protected to keep the ideas of revolution fresh in the minds of the citizenry (and perhaps to discourage those thoughts at the same time?). I like to think of them as the most famous leaders who saw themselves as mostly replaceable. Whether they felt such a society could last before caving in on itself within a few hundred years, we'll never know.

Today, our Founders are not revered but looked at as hypocrites by the same people that frequent these silly bars without giving a thought to these pictures what they mean, not knowing what hard times truly are, laughed at by illegal immigrant factions who can't believe how easy it is to steal their tax money and how little these Americans know of reality. These same people are the ones who rail on about how the Founders were slave owners and rich land owners. Well, of course they were...did you really think a peasant class alone could have achieved victory? Smart, capable men like General George Washington helped destroy a huge British infantry, not just farmers with pitchforks, despite what Hollywood would have us believe.

colonialflag

Most people can't imagine a life without cell phones, Macintosh computers, or their MySpace page. I find it hard to imagine a country based on the kind of values espoused in The Constitution and Declaration of Independence inhabited primarily by nitwits who can barely read the printed matter on these documents - let alone translate that into solid leadership.

The iPod and Apple: Looking Back

The iPod is a neat little device, but those familiar with the tech landscape in the late 90s know that Apple was a bit of a different company back then. Having just re-hired Steve Jobs in 1997 after he was fired from his own company in 1985, Apple began, as Jobs himself said, putting the "sex" back in the products:

A few minutes later, in walked Steve Jobs. The co-founder of the once proud company had been fired by Apple 12 years before. He had returned seven months earlier as a consultant, when Amelio acquired his NeXT Software Inc. And now Jobs was back in charge. Wearing shorts, sneakers, and a few days' growth of beard, he sat down in a swivel chair and spun slowly, says McCluney, now president of storage provider Emulex Corp. (ELX ). "O.K., tell me what's wrong with this place," Jobs said. After some mumbled replies, he jumped in: "It's the products! So what's wrong with the products?" Again, executives began offering some answers. Jobs cut them off. "The products SUCK!" he roared. "There's no sex in them anymore!"

Well, I guess we know what his motivation was all about upon returning. Who could resist making a phallic statement after a Board of Directors that fired him twelve years earlier got on its hands and knees to come and save the company? And save it from what - from becoming a niche brand? It always was, and never really was supposed to be a mainstream product.

We all know what happened in the fall of 1997: the first iMac. I was a first semester freshman in college when the iMac came out, and I remember kids "ooing" and "aahing" over these machines. My decision was simple: I was in business school, so what the hell would I want a Mac for if I needed to run Microsoft Office? Plus, I loved toying with the inside of these machines, upgrading memory and swapping out motherboards...something a Mac didn't offer in its glossy but sealed packaging.

Then, a couple of years later, the first iPod came out. You'd think die-hard Apple enthusiasts would have loved the idea of Apple getting involved in the new MP3 player market, but not quite. Here are some quotes from the hardcore Apple enthusiasts back in 2001 when the iPod was unveiled:

"iPoop... iCry. I was so hoping for something more."

...

"Great just what the world needs, another freaking MP3 player. Go Steve! Where's the Newton?!"

...

"Sounds very revolutionary to me. :(
hey - heres an idea Apple - rather than enter the world of gimmicks and toys, why dont you spend a little more time sorting out your pathetically expensive and crap server line up? or are you really aiming to become a glorified consumer gimmicks firm?"

...

"It's now at the online Apple Store! $400 for an Mp3 Player! I'd call it the Cube 2.0 as it wont sell, and be killed off in a short time...and it's not really functional. Uuhh Steve, can I have a PDA now?"

This just goes to show: the die-hard Apple enthusiasts don't care about hip commercials making fun of Windows, nor do they care about market share. They care about the products, and not the sex of the products, but the actual function (wow, who knew?). Jobs came back to Apple to make them sexy, and that worked for a while. But he sacrificed substance to the point where Apple's marketing the idea of switching to a Mac because of how easy it is to run Windows and Office on their machines, and this is clearly not the direction the company was headed twenty years ago when the Board of Directors fired Jobs so they could grow the company without his input in the name of profit and stock price.

So, for all you new Mac owners who paid $2,000 or more for a laptop that doesn't do half of what a Toshiba can do, and for less money, pat yourselves on the back: you've bought into Steve Jobs vision of a sexy product...doesn't it feel good?

Israel To the US: You're No Longer Needed

Washington, DC - A confused and puzzled look crossed the face of President Barack Obama as he left the White House early yesterday. A confident Prime Minister Netanyahu strolled out of the White House and jumped into a waiting black car, ready to go back to Israel without, as some had anticipated, his hat in his hands.

Obama nagging Abdullah"So uh, Prime Minister Netanyahu and I met over the past day. Our services as military ally and financier will no longer be needed. Apparently, the Israelis have been stockpiling our weapons for the last few decades, know our military training manuals in and out, and their West Bank Wall is longer than ever before. They feel they have a good handle on things in the Middle East without us. This will…um…save the American taxpayers about $3billion per year, plus about another $20 billion we weren’t even tellin' y'all about."

The United States immediately began cozying up to Saudi Arabia for fear of being left out of – both literally and figuratively – the sandbox. King Abdullah explained:

“Mr. President called me up a few minutes ago, just to ‘chit-chat’…I didn’t know what to make of it and it was kind of awkward, like this was his first time. He started asking whether or not we feel safe here, flattering me about my wives and complimenting my robe. I was kind of flattered, in fact, until you just told me about this business with Israel. That guy is easier to see through than an American businesswoman’s blouse.”

News across the nation was mixed. Said Earl Meriwether, a cattle rancher: “I kinda like it, I do! More dollars here, less dollars there. That math works!” Meriwether is the owner of a Chevrolet Suburban; when prodded about oil prices, he said simply: “Aw, even this guy can figure something out.”

Foreign operations, including the rebuilding of Iraq and the continued bombing of Afghanistan, are expected to cease when the Commander-in-Chief of America’s armed forces is ready to pull the plug. Netanyahu told reporters, “[Obama] better do it soon, it’s kinda noisy over here. He doesn’t want me to have to ask twice.”

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Alcohol Reviews: Bulleit Bourbon (Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey)

Bulleit BourbonOne should note there are vast differences between bourbon – typically noted on the bottle as Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey – and American whiskey (typically from Tennessee). Bourbon can best be described as stronger and smoky in comparison to Tennessee whiskey – stronger due to the different type of "mash" – rye and corn – and more smoky because of the fact that it always must be aged in new, smoked casks for it to be considered Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. For more about American whiskeys, check out Chuck Cowdery's blog.

Bulleit makes a fine product. While not the most refined of bourbons, as single barrel and other special edition products can be had at only a few dollars more, it's just refined enough so that it goes down easily, and you can enjoy the smoky finish without it being overbearing. That extra kick of rye, more than in most bourbon, is appreciated more with each tasting. The aftertaste is fairly bold and smoky. Even though Bulleit does have a slightly chalky taste to it on first sip, the overall flavor and aftertaste are good enough to justify it as an everyday bourbon. Plus, it even has a cool name: Bulleit.

Personally, I prefer my bourbon with ice and my single malt scotch whisky straight, but in the case of Bulleit, either way you drink it, you should be happy. It's strong enough such that a little ice won't do much damage to that smoky glow, but not too chalky or biting that you'll find it difficult to put down a straight dram or two.

[Bulleit Bourbon is a Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. No aging statement; distilled at Four Roses Distillery in Lawrenceburg, KY]

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Cars: Does the Honda Insight Hybrid Get the Green Light?

InsightHonda has been marketing fuel-efficient vehicles in the United States for decades, starting, ironically, with the T360 pickup truck. Their latest hybrid vehicle, a trend started by Toyota & Honda in the late 1990s to push people into compact cars with new technology, is the redesigned Insight, which looks essentially like a Toyota Prius twin.

Honda & Toyota have become “push” manufacturers, meaning they feel they can define the market for the consumer as a result of their market influence. Honda’s most recent Accord model has edged into full-size car status, as Honda grows the Civic to make room for the Fit. Between the Fit and Civic is a car that apparently not only fails Honda’s own strict standards for interior quality, but also drivability.

Much has been written about the Insight, Honda’s new low-priced hybrid. We’ve been told how much carbon dioxide it produces, how its dashboard encourages frugal driving by glowing green when you’re easy on the throttle and how it is the dawn of all things. The beginning of days.

So far, though, you have not been told what it’s like as a car; as a tool for moving you, your friends and your things from place to place.

So here goes. It’s terrible. Biblically terrible. Possibly the worst new car money can buy. It’s the first car I’ve ever considered crashing into a tree, on purpose, so I didn’t have to drive it any more.

"But let me be clear that hybrid cars are designed solely to milk the guilt genes of the smug and the foolish.”

InsightThis is Honda’s way of telling us that they can sacrifice the things that allowed them to progress from making glorified Kei cars to beautiful luxury cars which kept the tradition of fuel efficiency in a tight package. What you get with the Insight seems to be a hipster lifestyle choice, complete with an Un-Green technology in the form of an as-yet unrecyclable lithium ion battery which would kill you if you opened it up and let it leak onto your skin. Thanks, Honda, but no thanks: think about the economy and the driver next time instead of following the advice of your marketing department.

For the Sake of Crying Polar Bears

[…] the Brooks School, a North Andover boarding school for grades 9-12, is counting on […] an animated animal that lets students “see” their energy consumption in real time. Instead of showing students what energy they are collectively using in each of the school’s ten dorms with graphs or digital numbers, a “bear-o-meter” displays it more visually on a public screen with the bear’s well-being tied to how well students are conserving.
For example, when energy use is low, such as early in the morning, the bear is asleep and happy. But as energy use rises as students turn on computers, televisions and music devices, the ice can begin melting under the bear’s paws – and if energy use really peaks – the poor bear falls in and flails in the open water.

Something of note: these kids are in high school, not elementary school.

The question should be, "does turning out a light make a polar bar happy?" The answer, of course, is "no".

There are too many people on the planet, and for some reason, mainstream environmentalism is ignoring this, so we're not teaching our young people about this issue. Industrialized nations don't need any more people, but they allow them in anyway while falsely believing they're doing the world a favor. So you have more resource consumption in first-world lifestyles which only adds a positive feedback effect back home in the developing world.

More people escape to industrailized nations while less people realize that overpopulation is becoming a huge concern. Of course, that doesn't stop them from reproducing--they've just gained entrance to a high material lifestyle. In the meantime, our population continues to grow thanks to shortsightedness on both ends - developed & developing - and we end up with lip service paid to polar bears in a cheap attempt to turn environmentalism into a commercial product. Hey, didn't they do that in the new Disney flick, Earth?

Begging For Socialism

My country – the US – has outgrown capitalism, at least in regard to auto production. There's simply no other explanation after the following turn of events at GM and Chrysler:

General Motors Corp. said it will cut 21,000 U.S. factory jobs by next year, phase out its storied Pontiac brand and ask the government to take more than half its stock in exchange for half of GM's government debt as part of a major restructuring that would leave current shareholders holding just 1 percent of the company.

GM is living on $15.4 billion in government loans and faces a June 1 deadline to restructure and get more government money. If the restructuring doesn't satisfy the government, the company could go into bankruptcy protection.

If both are successful, the government and UAW health care trust would own 89 percent of the company's stock, with the government holding more than a 50 percent stake, GM CEO Fritz Henderson said.

But despite several pro-longed bail outs, companies like Chrysler spell imminent bankruptcy:

It looks like scrappy Chrysler LLC might yet escape the auctioneer's gavel. The smallest of the three major U.S.-based automakers cleared two major hurdles on Sunday in its quest for survival, agreeing on a concession agreement with negotiators for the United Auto Workers and winning ratification of its cost-cutting deal with the Canadian Auto Workers.

Chrysler has been living on $4 billion in government loans and may get another $500 million to keep it alive through Thursday's deadline to restructure to the government's satisfaction. If it can't close the final deals, however, no more government money will be made available and the company almost certainly would be auctioned off in pieces under bankruptcy court supervision.

Oh Chrysler is scrappy all right! They just keep surviving after a 30-plus year legacy of bailouts and business partnerships – like that of DaimlerBenz, which strangely didn't work out. Those Germans give up too easily!

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No Groping, Please

Transit police saw a spike in the number of groping reports on the T over the last year, a rise that coincided with a surge in arrests for indecent assault and battery.

Since the start of the campaign, the number of groping complaints nearly increased 74 percent over the last year, from 48 to 65, according to the MBTA. Over that same period, police arrested and charged 24 people with indecent assault and battery, an increase of 85 percent from the 13 arrests made the preceding year.

Aw, come on Boston – you're taking the "fun" out of "fondling"!

It's good to know that asking for citizens to report more crimes via advertising results in filthy gropers being arrested. I don't know why this doesn't work with rape or murder; have they tried it yet? Getting people together inside a metal cylinder headed for a metropolis to work all day through frustration now has the added benefit of becoming a bona fide police officer on the way home to relieve stress. Stop touching my butt, pervert, or I'll have you arrested! Take your three square inches of personal space elsewhere, I don't care how bumpy this train is!

If everyone can be a police officer (without the gun – minor details), then pretty soon there will be no criminals left – I'm sleeping better at night already.

When Sports & Yarmulkes Collide

The Jets' home opener against the Patriots is scheduled during Rosh Hashanah. The next week, the Jets host the Titans hours before Yom Kippur starts. The conflict with the two holiest holidays on the Jewish calendar may keep the team's Jewish fans who observe the holidays from attending.

On Wednesday, the Jets called the NFL to complain about the scheduling conflict, according to the New York Daily News.

"The Jets are hearing from their fans," Katz, the NFL's senior VP of broadcasting, told the newspaper. "There was miscommunication between the Jets and the NFL office, for which I take full responsibility. All we can continue to do is look and see if there is a solution to this.

Welcome to a New Reality ™ folks, including the subset New Religion ™ – where sports & religion collide!

I can't imagine why terrorists would want to bomb this country after reading something like this. So, some Jewish guys want to enjoy some bratwurst, beer, and football and have the schedule revolve around the one or two days a year they don't indulge – so what?

Side note to Martin: see what I'm talking about now?

Cold War: 1989 or 2009?

The United States and Russia, striving to ease strained relations, announced jointly Wednesday that they'll try to put a new nuclear arms reduction deal in place before the existing treaty expires in December.

In advance of their first sit down, President Barack Obama and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev issued a joint statement saying the "era when our countries viewed each other as enemies is long over." They pledged to work together to limit the world's two largest nuclear arsenals, and the White House also announced that Obama was accepting Medvedev's invitation to visit Moscow this summer.

An interesting bit of news about which we can all rejoice. The US & Russia, the two world superpowers, are finally striving to reduce their nuclear weapons arsenal.

No mention of China, which is worrisome. Maybe the US & Russia have a buyer for their nuclear weapons to even the playing field out among the now-three world superpowers? This would at least give China a fair shot in a Mutually Assured Destruction scenario.

Now that I think of it - nice try, Boston.com, but this is definitely cut and pasted from an article 22 years ago or so. It must be; the Cold War ended on 12/25/89, didn't it?

The Continued Sports Debate

I don't think looking at athletes' physical assets is the main reason we watch sports. If it was, then bodybuilding would be much more popular than hockey, and people would rather watch blowouts (which clearly display a team's superiority) to close games.

http://www.corrupt.org/news/why_we_watch#comment-2573

The title of Martin's original article was, "Why We Watch", so that's where the debate should lie.

Today, people watch far more NFL, NHL, and NBA than weightlifting, track & field, or luge. Why is that?

In the States, people love American football. Everywhere else they love soccer (or, "football"). Each game has its merits, but why do we watch? One can make the argument that a soccer player must be in tip-top shape to constantly run for 90 minutes, so soccer is somehow more valid than American football. But again: WHY do we watch? And on such a large scale: Why is the World Cup so popular?

It's popular not just because we like to watch competition, but because we get sucked in as a fanbase into the marketing of the sport itself; the huge amounts of money involved, the personal drama instead of the victory celebrations. That's who we are today as a society; more money goes to the major sports players than the weightlifter because of marketing, not because team sports are more valid. Weightlifting doesn't necessarily equal attractive bodies, Martin; it's a tough sport to market because you sit there and watch guys lift weight & that's it. This somehow makes it a less valid sport in the eyes of major sports fans who prefer to watch an over-the-hill pitcher wind up and chuck a leather-wrapped ball sixty or so feet away at 95 miles per hour or so.

Which brings up a great point...put simply: If BASEBALL can be a big sport, it's definitely all about marketing!

Celebrities: Handle With Care

Marx was wrong: The opiate of the masses isn't religion, but spectator sports. What else explains the astounding fact that millions of seemingly intelligent human beings feel that the athletic exertions of total strangers are somehow consequential for themselves? The real question we should be asking during the madness surrounding this month's collegiate basketball championship season is not who will win, but why anyone cares.

The ancient Romans used the Coliseum to promote spectator sports, the crowd culture of which is depicted quite well in the 2000 film, Gladiator.

We're no better off today as a crowd than we were thousands of years ago, when people lined up to get into a stadium for a fee, had bread & beer thrown at them by the emperor's henchmen, and became passionate about a game. The only difference between now and then is that people had more balls in ancient Rome. They took to the ring to fight tigers (not willingly, but let's ignore that), vs. not even being allowed to touch your fellow man on the basketball court for risk of being called for a foul.

Today, athletes are even more coddled than the crowd, so we have something new to complain about when we spend $100 for a good view of the basketball court to view a millionaire shooting a ball into a hoop: "Try harder! You make so much money!"

We can apply this to concerts, as well: aren’t we paying $100 to see U2? We have every right to criticize!

Sadly, people forget the truth: you have the right to remove yourself from the idiocy and save your money for something meaningful. Do you really care if U2 has a good concert or not; do you care if Stephon Marbury had a good game? The money only fuels the ensuing circus and gives the recipients of your money what they crave: attention, and the desire of the crowd for more.

Kosher and Hot Dog are Mutually Exclusive

It was an all-out frankfurter frenzy this week at a popular Jewish restaurant in Brooklyn, as a certain hot dog caused a near-riot.

The long-time patron says the chaos broke out when he and a rabbi noticed the frankfurters on the grill were non-Kosher, in a restaurant that's supposed to be dishing out the Kosher variety.

The restaurant's owner says that, in addition to throwing out equipment, utensils were cleansed with a flame to purge any pieces of the non-Kosher food.

What do do when a frankfurter causes a riot? I say: let the riot ensue.

Let's face it, if you're chowing down on hot dogs, is this really kosher behavior? Isn't this a bit like buying light bulbs labeled "green" but which contain more mercury than regular bulbs?

Cleansing this restaurant of non-kosher food can only be a good thing, and people who are so passionate about non-kosher food may best be served - pun intended - with hot dogs made of...people who are certified 100% kosher!

More Athletes Can Only Be a Good Thing

Major League Baseball and other pro sports were worried that the 10-year limit would put a dent in some of their players' careers, especially those who spend several seasons in the minor leagues. While the sports couldn't point to any athletes who have been kept out because of the policy, they expressed fears that could happen any time.

The new policy memo states that P-1 athletes "are not subject to a lifetime admission of 10 years in the United States."

"It is difficult to imagine our sports leagues today without such names as Dirk Nowitzki, Dikembe Mutombo, Johan Santana, Alex Ovechkin and Vladimir Guerrero, all of whom are foreign citizens," Sanchez wrote in a "Dear Colleague" letter to lawmakers last session.
There were other options for players who had reached the cap, such as applying for a green card or trying for a different type of visa. For example, the AP learned that NBA star Nowitzki, a Dallas Mavericks forward now in his 11th season, switched to an O-1 visa last year. The O-1 visa is reserved for athletes and others of "extraordinary ability," and the German-born Nowitzki is one the league's top players. But it's not an option for the average professional athlete.

I was thrilled at this news. Dirk Nowitzki is the great white hope of basketball; tough to imagine life without him. At the same time, is it fair he gets an O-1 visa for being an athlete of extraordinary ability? Where does one draw the line? I say: let as many athletes as possible stay here.

Athletes contribute to the GDP by bringing a valuable entertainment product to the masses. This helps everyone out – they're doing a job no one wants to do, for sure (how many of you want to sweat for 3 hours a day to make a living?) – and allows us an easier and more entertaining lifestyle.

And while we're being entertained, those additional athletes bring the average weight down. Everyone wins: America's stats get better, both on the court and off!

Big Brother Saves the Day

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke said while the U.S. government may take “substantial” stakes in Citigroup Inc. and other banks, it doesn’t plan a full- scale nationalization that wipes out stockholders.

Nationalization is when the government “seizes” a company, “zeroes out the shareholders and begins to manage and run the bank, and we don’t plan anything like that,” Bernanke told lawmakers in Washington today.

Wait – what happens to my money in my bank?? What's that you say, it's still covered by the FDIC? Whew. Sure, nationalize away!

I don't see why anyone should fear this – the government wants a stake in our banks, and the government is us, right? From what I understand, the plan also calls for the government to sell us VICTORY-branded cigarettes, coffee, and boots.

If it works as well as it did in Sweden, I'm all for it. This doesn't appear to be affecting my ability to buy a video game console or porn mags from the local smut peddler. As long as I don't have to take time out of my day to vote for this, I'd be fine with my local representative passing this bill.

Obama To Change the Laws of Physics and Arithmetic

Washington, DC (Corrupt, Inc.) - President Barack Obama (aliases including Hozannah, Christ and Jesus), in His infinite wisdom, has defied the very laws of physics and arithmetic set forth over the past several billion years. In His holy proposal, arousing the praise of his followers, He intends to halve the federal deficit to $533 billion by the end of his first term. This is a milestone event – direct evidence of a higher power, and changing all of what we thought we knew about the universe in the bargain.

President/Messiah continued: “It’s an amazing step, but a necessary one to protect freedom and democracy – Me-given rights to all under My law. Spending used to mean we owed money to someone – the taxpayers, other governments, or the Federal Reserve when they did us the favor of printing the tool known as money. But under My new system, and under My direction, spending will in fact reduce liabilities, not increase them.

“Our last President, the fallen angel heretofore known as Satan, put us in this hole by not having the stones to change the very laws of physics, and I’m determined to spend My way out of that mess. Since that can’t be done under our existing regime of scientific laws, I’ll simply change them.”

With a wave of His hand, President/Messiah Obama will wipe the slate clean and spend His way out of this recession and coming depression. Money will have value only to Him for the millisecond in which this planned action is to take place. [Disclaimer: “wave of hand” pending Senate and House approval.]

Other future changes for the newly elected Messiah include spontaneous creation of vehicles with no required power plant or energy consumption, electric outlets growing on all newly planted trees, and an ending of all race, gender, and IQ dissimilarities.

Catholic Teacher To Blame For Curse Words

Shocked parents found a string of foul and abusive words in their 10-year-olds' school books.

The litany of words ranged from variations on the F-word, crude slang for sex acts, female and male genitalia, and racist and derogatory name-calling.

They were then asked to categorise the insults into four sections: Really Upsetting, Upsetting, Not Nice and Harmless.

The mother of one child said she was horrified when she looked in her child's exercise book.

Silly parent – "horrified" isn't an option in the exam!

Children learn about violence, and therefore violent language, at an early age. Since this is a Catholic school, one would assume students get to study the ultra-violent Old Testament, which includes Blockbuster-approved material like gang rape, sacrifice of children on altars, and the occasional genocide.

And, of course, there's no way a wholesome, media-loving culture would ever subject children to these kinds of words, knowing that TV shows now have ratings – I hear that's been very effective. It's also unimaginable that this kind of indecency could ever occur from the mouths of any of the parents - for they are Believers.

That's it, then, the teacher is Satan in disguise and he needs to go. Who wants to light the torches for the lynch mob?

Stop the Obesity Hatred

Stop the hatred on fat people:

Obesity is a major public health and economic concern. In the United States, a third of women age 15 years and older were obese (body mass index [BMI] greater than 30) in 2004. There are significant health implications of prepregnancy maternal obesity for both mother and child. There is evidence that suggests that maternal obesity may be associated with the development of some congenital anomalies (abnormality present at birth). Congenital anomalies are a leading cause of stillbirth and infant death, accounting for 1 in 5 infant deaths in the United States, and are important contributors to preterm birth and childhood illnesses, according to background information in the article.

Everyone has a right to reproduce if their loins are fertile enough, no matter how fat they are. In fact, when a baby is born, a woman loses weight, so isn’t more children of obese mothers a good thing for our society?

This is more media spin in favor of women who are told to gain only twenty to forty pounds during pregnancy. How is that possible when a woman has insane hormones and appetites after morning sickness wears off? Are they really supposed to avoid ice cream sundaes every few hours?

What we should be doing is encouraging as many obese women to have babies as possible. If they can get pregnant, there’s proof right there that genetics favors fat people; otherwise they would all be infertile.

Generating Revenue the Easy Way

It is believed more than a million drivers have been trapped by the system.

But it is now claimed the lights were rigged to change from yellow to red in three seconds instead of the regulation five or six seconds.

Instead of an average 15 fines a day in some places, the figure jumped to more than 1,000.

This is how cities bring in revenue today: distract the citizens with political drama, while enforcing laws disguised as "safety measures." Since everyone wants to feel safe, we buy into their pleasant-sounding regulations, and only later find out that we've been screwed over once again by the bureaucrats.

But what do we complain about--we're so disconnected from our neighbors, it took someone working in law enforcement to notice this scam and bring it to the attention of higher authorities. That says more about us than about bureaucracy.

Why stop here? I've got a few suggestions for how to profit even further on public stupidity:

• Taxing air by monitoring psi inhaled
• Taxing carbon dioxide by monitoring psi exhaled
• Fines for owning cars (oh wait, we have that already, it's called "excise tax")
• Fines for owning bicycles – hey, they're building bike lanes for you "greenies"; you should help pay for them

Today's lesson: if people are clueless, someone is making big cash, somewhere.

Why Is America In Economic Decline?

"We have an enormous responsibility to explain to the American people what led to this financial crisis, how did we get here, who is responsible, and what we can do to make sure that this never happens again,” Sanders, an independent who usually votes with Democrats, wrote in a letter to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

“We need to examine what responsibility should be borne by individuals, corporations, and institutions for the poor decisions and foolish investments that have in large measure created this monumental crisis," Sanders wrote. "....The panel should have subpoena power necessary to assure that it receives sound information and direct answers to the questions it is charged with answering.”

Breaking news: US Senator actually wants to know how the financial collapse happened:

Choice A: Government plays big brother with business regulations, unable to control its own growth like Oprah
Choice B: Chase away all industry like Obama shooing away ACORN
Choice C: Allow financial speculation to continue the healthy, even-keel growth we've come to know and love in America
Choice D: Bail out every prisoner in our justice system along with the banks - they can all be categorized as crooks, so why not?
Choice E: All of the above

Pick your favorite choice to self-terminate a declining empire.

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