Most of my relatives should know by now that our child will not be baptized in the Church (Catholic, I guess is what you'd call it). Even though I was brought up Catholic, and received sacraments all the way up to Confirmation when I was 15 years old, my wife and I opted not to marry in the church. For her part, she comes from a religious family as well, and yet her mother was supportive 100% with the idea that we do what we feel is best. Religion is hardly worth it if you feel guilted or forced into receiving some of the most precious sacraments.

While my wife's family has their share of religious zeal (luckily this is in the extended part of her family), we don't see them often. On my side, I do see my extended family somewhat frequently, so the questions are starting to pour in about baptism dates. I haven't yet had the heart to tell them that there will be no baptism, silly: if we weren't married in the church, what priest would baptize our baby anyhow? The problem is, logic doesn't apply to the people I'm dealing with.

Religion is touchy, as there are all matters of tradition, not all of it healthy, that get wrapped into that one word and idea. My mother has a gown that plenty of her family had worn during baptism. There are priests my family and my wife's family knows. There's even my own personal Catholic guilt, still rolling around back there in my mind: is it okay to not baptize the baby? Maybe we should just to be safe?

Having a child was already a life-affirming experience, and I wouldn't want to ruin that by going through the motions of a ceremony intended to save the soul of a child supposedly born with "original sin". My wife says it best: "I don't think a newborn has ever done anything wrong, so how can they say someone so young needs to be saved?" Besides, baptism used to be performed in adulthood, when one could at least make a conscious decision to be baptised or not. If my son wants to be Christian or Catholic later in life, I won't stop him, but at least it will be his choice.