As a father, I don't overly shelter my son, but I err on the side of caution when interpersonal relationships among family members become tenuous. Family members are much more rational when dealing with people to whom they are not related, but one could potentially fight about any silly thing if there's a blood relation. Those silly fights are usually masking larger problems underneath. For a one year old child, s/he doesn't understand these layers of complexity; all s/he hears and sees is the fight. Those fights can give off negative impressions about family members to young and impressionable minds. So how do parents of a young child handle these conflicts when they arise?

As I now have my own family, I get to take part in how to shape that life. This isn't a knock on either of my parents, but when you marry and create a family, part of the idea is to take what you know already works, abandon what doesn't, and replace what's abandoned with new and better things.

Naturally, it's difficult to speak objectively on these topics with the people who raised you. They're older and less flexible in their thinking; they don't have to worry about the world as it stands now versus thirty years ago; they are more interested in having fun with their granchildren than dissecting how they parented you.

As a result, new parents will decide how their family will be run outside of earshot of the grandparents & aunts or uncles. If, like me, you tend to spend a lot of time with extended family, issues arise when grandparents become occasional caretakers and the most trivial of differences needs to be raised carefully, if at all.

For example, if you have a family member who is ultra-sensitive and maybe even a little batty, inevitably there's conflict about something trivial where no conflict is needed. As a parent, your options are: (1) remove yourself & your family from the situation, or (2) deal with it and fight it out in the most rational way possible with children present.

I usually choose the aforementioned option (1) and leave the scene. I calmly grab the diaper bag, the child, and just go. It might seem a bit odd, but when there are more complex issues at play, it doesn't seem worth it to have heated discussions in front of a one year old to try sorting them out, especially when prior attempts have failed. When the child is ten years old? A teenager? A parent might feel at that point that the child's skin is sufficiently thick - and brain sufficiently analytical - to absorb what happens and sort it out in his/her mind, with some guidance from the parents after the fact.

It all sounds very academic for a problem that is anything but. Every family situation is different, but what's important is to keep in perspective what you want to emulate from your past as a parent, and what you'd like to ignore, then act accordingly.