For starters, I've been there.

Seeing one post over at In Mala Fide recently recalled memories of being single...and no, this never happened to me.

Lynch: *grunt*

Mandy: Oh, oh yes, oh! Oh! Oh Daddy!

Lynch: *insta cock shrink*

Mandy: Oh, Daddy, yes!

Lynch: What the fuck!?

...

Lynch: Mandy, did you just call me Daddy?

Mandy: Yes. It turns me on.

Lynch: What turns you on, exactly? Your Dad?

Mandy: Or my uncle.

I understand that the story is about a single man in college who was only interested in dating, and that the story is out of the ordinary to say the least - or one would hope.

I saw the story linked on Facebook and couldn't resist: I commented how I don't envy single men. One commenter wrote back: "The feeling is mutual, chief." I've heard other, similar sentiments, especially from men I know in their mid or late 20s; things like, "I'm so glad I don't have your life."

At first I laughed, since my friends had last used the "chief" nickname sometime before high school. Then I thought about it more: was the feeling mutual? Assuming the commenter was young and single, he wouldn't really know, would he? So it got me thinking about whether or not I really had a soft spot for single guys, and whether they should for me.

Marriage has received a bad name in recent years, despite the fact that people are still getting married at a high rate. Our media culture focuses on divorcees, and melodramatizes marriage problems, especially cheating. This leads to a conclusion for many that marriage is something people do, maybe a few times, so they can settle on someone before they become too old to be successful in the singles market. Television shows like Cougar Town seem to further glorify the idea of being someone's ex but now available and back on the singles scene - making marriage more of a footnote than a way of life. So people start to think that if you're married and reasonably young, there's something wrong with you - you could be enjoying the singles life, dude!

Seeing the stories at both In Mala Fide, and to a lesser extent blogs like Dad's House, a few things jump out at me:

• Being single appears to be a badge of honor for some of the commenters. Rather than bask in the glory of single years so one can exit that phase for the better, some would rather be single into perpetuity and then brag about it. There may be something else behind this; baggage from one's own personal family experiences, etc.
• There's nothing wrong with being single, as some of the readers know they simply must partake in the singles game at bars and clubs, not to be deterred no matter how many whackos (see above) one runs into. But to say you don't envy someone who is married because they found the endgame in all that searching makes no sense.
• For those that float through their twenties and thirties with no goal of family in mind, the reason I don't envy this type of single person is because they are missing out on something beautiful. Then again, if one simply has no desire to marry or reproduce, my thoughts are: Please, don't!
• Among single men, there appears to be a bit of a backlash against the hipster and metro sexual single crowd, where being manly got a bad name in recent years. The idea of men being men without having to apologize for it is gaining support, even if this includes fooling around with a few whackos - this is understandable.

So while it's true I don't envy single men, I don't mean to single them out as bad or broken or somehow wrong. I simply don't envy the situations they have to endure to find the right person for a long term relationship and then marriage. I've been there - it gets tough & lonely at times, even for active daters, and very few single men actually have real conquests on, say, a weekly basis (unless their standards are just terrible and they manage to avoid a reputation for being the worst kind of player).

I'm sure one can get lost in that lifestyle, then begins defending it. Us chumps who find someone to love and exit the singles phase gracefully...gee, who'd want to be them?