Every blog needs an Englishman. Corrupt's got Alfred, a curious satirist who makes it a passion to mock the European Union and any people ill-spirited against transvestites, homosexuals and other minorities. Alfred's philosophy is a mix of evolutionary hedonism and free market competition, but stays clear of both the moralizing of the Right and the masochism of the Left. He doesn't need to stand anywhere--he's a bloody Englishman!

At what point in life did you realize you wanted to become a transvestite?

When I was younger, and when my dad was frequently out at the weekend working on some important reports with his secretary, my mother always had last night’s clothes scattered all over her room by every morning. I don’t know why she kept taking them off and throwing them everywhere! Our weekend cleaner, Brian, didn’t even clean them up but just left very early every morning. When mum went out that night to play poker I would sometimes put these clothes on and look at myself in the mirror. Later on I started trying out her makeup. I guess that’s how it started.

You describe life as ”a constant struggle between boredom and entertainment.” According to this view, is boredom something you're trying to avoid, or something you're trying to cope with and learn to appreciate?

When there is a struggle between two opposing forces, you can either root for one side or the other that tugs on you, or you can transcend the two entirely. Humans are hedonists by instinct. I think that condition affects most great apes.

How would you describe your political orientation?

The less politics the better.

You often mock the bureaucratic nature behind the European Union. Why do you regard EU as problematic?

Daniel Hannan explains the problems of the EU better than most. Some aspects of the EU are positive - certain regulation on unfair business practices, for example. Energy cooperation. But on the whole it’s a sterile, gargantuan, and creeping monolith of an empire-state that is making us less free, less powerful, and less democratic whilst costing us more money.

What is the attraction and benefits with a free market opposed to a socialist, government-regulated economic system?

I can do whatever the hell I want without some socialite tosser in power throwing my money around and lining his own pockets.

Can the free market idea be applied in other sectors of society?

Probably; competition tends to expose both the good and the bad. Both are positive outcomes.

If European governments have gone too far in controlling the lives of their citizens, what should the ideal role of a government be?

Europe, not including Great Britain, has always had an obsession with government power. English people are born intrinsically free, and are then subject to government limitations. Most Europeans, if they take a look at their relevant constitutions, will find that it is their government that grants them their freedom, not their birthright. The task of government should be to consign itself to irrelevance as much as it possibly can, whilst providing only the most necessary services.

You've been traveling around in Europe a lot. What is it about European culture that fascinates you?

Every culture on Earth fascinates me. Had I been born in the 1800’s I would have been the archetypal aristocratic colonist, faring all over the world, mating with the various locals and discovering plenty of treasure, both cultural and physical. I cannot explain this urge. Maybe it’s that hedonist instinct within me. I am curious by nature.

You are known as a skilled satirist in the blogosphere, not shying away from being offensive. What is it with Brits, who are otherwise fairly conservative, and their perverse humour?

We live in a fairly dull and physically isolated part of the world. We’ve had a fairly stable historic civilisation for almost a thousand years. No longer can we entertain ourselves with our empire building or defending ourselves against the Germans, French or Spanish. There’s a comfy settee in every home. What else to do, then, except try to make each other laugh?

The Irish. If you were king of Britain today, how would you deal with them?

Let them ruin their own country in peace.