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Civil Society and the Lonewolf
by Alex Birch
Having tried out most conceivable forms of housing - living with family, living with grandmother, living alone, living in dorm, sharing apartment with friend etc., I've thought about how most young people prefer to live alone these days. In Sweden in particular people want big space, all by themselves. Pure lonewolfing. At some point you begin to wonder why.
Young people before their mid-20s, who are not yet in a serious long-term relationship, should not live alone. They grow accustomed to their own silly drama details without recognizing a larger social whole. That whole can be anything from a friend to a small collective. Everyone is busy blaming socialism for society's problems without recognizing that the reason civil responsibility is declining has to do with our housing patterns. We live lonely lives isolated from each other, demanding the world adapting to us instead of us trying to adapt and master the world.
If you can set aside the small problems that occur when sharing housing with someone, you'll find an immense richness in sharing every day moments, helping each other to mend broken things, partying together, leaving each other alone when that's needed. Collective housing strengthens community spirit, social responsibility, independent initiative and common solutions to common problems. These features are essential in any culture that wishes to escape the pacifying effects of welfare socialism.
While private space is one of the beauties of modern life, I seriously challenge all young people reading this to dare sharing housing with an interesting person, friend or "trusted stranger." Discover that sharing life with other people is more rewarding and fun than having a big, lonely apartment. The welfare State can only begin to lose its power over our lives, once we start building civil bonds and acting in the interest of a larger social whole. Sharing space with other people is a journey that enables you to develop such a lifestyle.
Housemates
I would add that it depends on the quality of your housemates and their lifestyle/work patterns - the more people you live with, the luckier you are if everyone pulls their weight, so choose your housemates wisely. The more cooperation and consensus there is between your housemates, the better.
In my experience, WoW-playing losers, spoilt freeloaders and miserable overworked vegan women don't make ideal housemates. Some people like bigger shared households so they can palm off housekeeping to others, meaning those who like a clean house spend a disproportionate amount of time cleaning the place. The best thing is not that all housemates are necessarily OCD about cleanliness but share the same attitude about it.
When you've got a good relationship going and people are home around the same time, it's great because you can cook for eachother and cooking becomes more of a fun thing in itself rather than some chore cutting into your internet time.
Sharing a place in Toronto
Sharing a place in Toronto means thin walls and living with poor people and having to tolerate them being loud with their friends, talking on the phone and blaring tv and music. I've had 2 fights, 2 staredowns, 2 failed relationships & was on bad terms with 4 others in 2 years and 5 residences when I was slumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I share a house with others
I share a house with others in Toronto, all with decently paying part or full-time work, as we are simultaneously all students, and this is hardly the case. I think it's entirely situational.
Sharing with students is different experience
But sharing with the workforce means dealing with people who are too poor or bad with money to afford their own place & who dont need quiet time to study. Alex's article is about general co-habiting for the experience, which is a BAD IDEA in Toronto. Everybody does what they want and tolerates others' inconveniences.
The choice is yours.
"Great men choose their own company."
Although, humans are social beings, with varying degrees. It seems we're naturally prone to make some contact sooner or later with someone.
Easy!
So when you bring members of the opposite sex over, you're not bothered by anyone. Also, you get to impress your dates with the fact that you can afford a big place of your own when most people can't. But mostly it's so your roommates won't make fun of you for having no options better than banging fat chicks!
I'm exaggerating and oversimplifying, of course, but I'm sure that's a very big part of it for a lot of people who want to live alone.
Living alone...
... is the path of least resistance, I'd say that most people really don't have that good relationships with their own families, remember how much cultural schism there is between one generation and the next (christian, vs atheist children, etc) You should really try to read the writings of those who feel burned by their parents inferior culture, this drives division and isolation, people no longer accept people who are willingly ignorant (the religious) and the flawed.
A GREAT movie to watch alex is.. Junebug, probably one of the best films I've seen about "real life" families and communities, I think everyone who hasn't seen it should go watch it when they can, because that movie portrays REALITY (something corrupt likes to preach from the podium, people become corrupt when they become detached from reality).
I think what you're not getting is that technology and excessive wealth gives people power to structure their habitat so that it doesn't offend their nervous systems sensibilities, so people who have just unreal warped expectations and sensibilities are given free reign to structure their world around their petty sensibilities.
People today are seriously territorial about their personal space and paranoid of other people, the crazyness about pedophiles, etc, etc. Means men are afraid to have normal friendly relatinoships with children.
Our society has serious psychological issues that have little to do with housing, it's more about media and the fact that what gets peoples attention is shocking and salacious crime's, and celebrity entertainment.
The very structure of a SPECIALIZED capitalist society is what causes this, it's the deep specialization and the instability of jobs and wages, so people are always on the lookou for a better job, more money, a richer lifestyle, a technological specialized society is one in constant motion and upheaval which gives little time for people to develop beyond the superficial and crude cost/benefit analysis.