England is an irritating and insular country full of overweight, binge-drinking, reality TV addicts, a new guide warns tourists.

But in the new Rough Guide to England, the English are also hailed as a nation of animal-loving, tea-drinking charity donors who love nothing better than forming an orderly queue.

Gone, it seems, is the image of a genteel country awash with Englishmen politely tipping their bowler hats, groping through the London fog and being kinder to pets than kids.

I'm not sure if this is entirely accurate or not, but one thing is certain: if this was about a non-European people, the man who wrote this guide would be in jail a long time ago.