Because of overwhelmingly positive response from readers, I continue to report from my multiculti-dormitory journey. I'm known to be humorous, but it's nothing compared to our house clown, Abdullah from Jordan. Over 30, always desperately looking for women, but always remaining alone, he provides many laughs.

A night at the club

(Me, Jordanian, Afghan and Finnish guys go clubbing.)

Jordanian: Man, Swedish chicks are HOT!

Me: Yep. I'm out.

Afghan: But there's no one dancing.

Me: I know, except those girls standing in a circle. If you wait 20 more minutes, this place will be so crowded you won't be able to squeeze in a midget. This is the time to start making contact. Abdullah, you're looking for girls, you come with me.

Jordanian: No man, I can't. I need a drink first.

(Jordanian goes to the bar, gets himself a drink, then slowly enters the dance floor when it's already packed with people. Standing in the middle of the crowd, holding his drink, he stares after girls.)

Me: What are you doing?

Jordanian: I'm looking out victims to hunt.

Me: Woo, that will just scare them off. Why don't you follow me to the 3rd floor?

Jordanian: No man, I stay here, I'm doing good!

(Four hours later back at the dorm, I'm seriously considering sleeping on the coach in the living room, when Abdullah walks in.)

Jordanian: Fuck this man!

Me: What, you got dissed?

Jordanian: I got NOTHING. I paid 80 Swedish crowns for nothing.

Me: You can't assume girls will run up to you just because you paid the entrance fee. You have to do some work.

Jordanian: That is just fucking wrong man, I'm going to sleep.

Anything is fine

Afghan guy: OK, I've quit my science program to go back to Malmö. What am I going to do with all of this food? I need money.

Me: You're actually considering selling that shit?

Afghan: Come on, these corn products are just 2 months old, I bet they taste the same.

Me: Even the brand is shit, I wouldn't touch that with a stick.

Afghan: I know..

(Jordanian comes in.)

Afghan: Hey, Abdullah, wanna buy some cheap food?

Jordanian: Yeah man, just stack it on my shelf.

New York, New York

(Jordanian is entertaining everyone about his trip to America, and how fucking great New York is, when the Afghan guy starts whining about massage again.)

Jordanian: You want massage, you go to New York man, they've got it all.

Afghan: What, they're good?

Jordanian: Are you kidding? Once I walked into a massage center. It was run by Chinese people, okay? So they undress you completely and then tell you to lie down on your stomach. So I was lying on my stomach and they massaged my back real good. Then the Chinese lady tells me to turn around, and so I lie flat on my back. Then she did this.

(Jordanian jerks his hand up and down in a masturbatory fashion.)

Everyone: WHAT?!

Jordanian: Yeah man, they do it all for you. After I came, they showered my crotch, and then they massaged my back again.

Afghan: They really masturbated you?

Jordanian: I'm telling you man, New York is the shit.

The Turk store

Me: I need cheap veggies.

Jordanian: Try the Turk store downtown, it's good.

Me: Do they sell those huge bell peppers?

Jordanian: They sell more than that. Smell this!

(Jordanian hands me what seems like an ordinary cup of tea.)

Me (smells the aroma): To be Chai tea, this is pretty strong.

Jordanian: That's because it's spiced with hashish--straight from the Turk store!

Endurance is a virtue

(Jordanian is cooking, about to clean the frying pan, but the washing sink is occupied by Italian lady.)

Jordanian: Are you washing?

Italian: Yes.

Jordanian: Alright, it's okay.

(The handle on the frying pan is really hot, Jordanian is burning his hand.)

Jordanian: Okay, this is very hot.

(Italian continues washing.)

Me: Why don't you tell her to move?

Jordanian: No man, it's cool. Okay, this is very hot, I need to place this somewhere.

Dog and owner

Italian lady: Could you take out the trash?

Jordanian: Yes.

(Jordanian immediately takes out the trash. Swedish and Iraqi guys observe, feel afraid of the dominant Italian.)

Lesbians under the bridge

Jordanian: Man, I saw this really wonderful thing today. In Sweden you're not embarrassed about this.

Me: What?

Jordanian: You know, down by the bridge, I saw two women make out really hard.

Me: Oh.

Jordanian: Man, that got me (lowers his voice in an ecstatic way) really fucking horny.

Me: Heheh, yeah, sometimes you see those around.

Jordanian: In Sweden you never see couples make out in public like at home, but these girls, man...they were all over each other. I just wanted to go up to them and spice things up you know.

Doggy style

(Another one of Abdullah's entertainment sessions, discussing Karma Sutra with the Afghan guy. All the other guys are listening.)

Jordanian: Man, I couldn't study last night.

Afghan: You were tired?

Jordanian: No, all those sex books man, they drove me crazy.

(Everyone laughs.)

Jordanian: But there's some good shit in those books. They had this huge picture of a man doing a woman doggy style.

Afghan: They only do that stuff in porn movies.

Jordanian: What, you're kidding me? Doggy style is what you need to do when you've got a woman.

Afghan: No woman will do that.

Jordanian: You don't know anything about women. You have to move slowly. First you make love softly. Then you do something nasty. Next time something more nasty. Until you do her like a dog. It works man.

Afghan: No no, that is bullshit.

Jordanian: You think that's bullshit? That's how you get really pumped up man. The more doggy style, the more blood pumps into your penis man, it's science (gesticulates with his hands by masturbating in the air).

(Everyone laughs again.)

Jordanian: You just gotta pump it, pump it, pump it.