We recently joined the "flooded basement" club, one with many new members with all the rain over the past few days falling in New England.

Roads were closed and utility crews did their job, and well. For as old as the infrastructure is here in New England, I'm amazed that not many areas (that aren't bordering river banks) have roads as dry as a bone less than two days after the last raindrop fell. At least some of that tax money makes its way back to us when we need it most.

On our end, we have a steamheat system and it's pretty close to the ground. Once we had to shut the heat off, it only took a day of 35 degree weather for us to buckle and go stay with my parents for the night. If we didn't have a six month old baby, we would have just lit a fire in the fireplace and dealt with it.

There was some furniture and personal belongings lost, but nothing that can't be replaced. Some lessons learned:

• Even if your basement hasn't seen water in 30-40 years, it's always worth it to store anything in a basement on pallets. If you can't get your hands on pallets, just use some of those hard plastic stackable holders for 6 2-liter bottles of soda.
• Don't melodramatize. If your basement doesn't leak but you get water from ground saturation, other people are in the same boat. It goes down quickly once the rain stops.
• Clorox bleach is your friend - if you clean up your basement right, you'll be fine.
• Keep generators on hand, one or two. If you have a heating system that needs to be plugged in to work, you can count on losing power during a bad storm of any kind - wind, rain, snow - and in cold weather it's useful to have backup power, wherever you live.

We don't live in a flood plain, but in New England, we do see some drastic temperature changes in the spring. So heavy snow can be followed by 50-60 degree weather for days on end, then you get flooding even without rain. It's always best to be prepared, rain or snow. Being new homeowners, we've resolved to have a sump pump installed, knowing it'll be an expensive ornament for perhaps years before it's ever used. But it's a cheap and easy way to keep your home dry, and better than dealing with an insurance company after you lose personal belongings in a flood.

While I realize not everyone can afford my sunny outlook on the storm after only a couple days of sunshine, in a way I'm glad this happened now. Had we not seen any flooding during this storm, we would be in a false comfort zone for the next big storm. Had we finished the basement, we would have lost a lot more than a couple of books and furniture that wasn't in use anyway. And the cleanup is a good opportunity to sift through junk and figure out what you really need and what belongings are really important. Decluttering is always a welcome distraction.

Recently, in the context of a tragedy in my extended family, I was called out by my own family members for not baptizing my son "yet". He's just about seven months old and we have no intention of having him baptized. He can do it if he wants to, John The Baptist style, at a time of his choosing. I have written about this topic before here.

The conversation went something like this, and I apologize for the use of internet abbreviations (DS = Dear Sister; DM = Dear Mother):

DS: So when you were in church [for the funeral], didn't it make you feel anything?

Me: Regarding religion or...?

DS: Regarding baptizing your son?

Me: Ah! Um...well, you know we didn't marry in a Catholic Church, so wouldn't it be disingenuous of me to baptize my son? No priest would recognize our marriage so how could they recognize a product of it?

DS & DM simultaneously: You don't have to be married [to get your son baptized]!

Me: Well, I wouldn't feel right about it.

DM: I don't know what they teach you kids when you go off to college.

Baptism as a symbolic gesture can be wonderful. But as an insurance policy because your Catholic guilt won't go away, it's a pretty bad idea. Keeping one foot in the proverbial holy water as a "just in case!" makes no sense, though it appears some would rather I purchase the additional homeowner's insurance even if I don't live in a flood zone, so to speak.

Regardless of merit, religion is a touchy subject with family members. It should be: as members of a family, one would expect that everyone has the same religious beliefs, because you share DNA. When people branch off and begin believing different things, it can drive a wedge between family members. Or it could be a symptom of dysfunction, depending on the family. Some will feel alienated by this person they've known all their lives, suddenly switching gears (even if it wasn't such a sudden change). Some will disown the person who changes beliefs; luckily, no one has taken it that far on our end.

It will be a challenge continuing to justify our beliefs while also remaining a part of the family, but we're up to the challenge. We simply keep the focus on our family, and running it in the way that makes the most sense to us.

Our son is enjoying solids now, to the point that his formula doesn't interest him nearly as much as it used to.

Even cheap baby food gets expensive, and despite some of the companies telling you it's "all natural", who knows for sure? As a result, we've put to use a food processor we got for our wedding, which stayed in a box until recently.

It's really easy to make your own baby food. Just buy a big bag of veggies - say, butternut squash - out of your grocer's freezer. Mix it up in a food processor, and then put it into ice cube trays. Refreeze and you have cubes of food with the proper consistency ready to go.

You can pop out the cubes and put them in a plastic bag in your freezer once they are frozen solid. In advance of your son or daughter's meal, make sure you put a cube or two in the fridge to defrost. You can use a bottle warmer and put a small baby food bowl on top of it, with the still-cold cubes of food in it to warm to room temperature. For our part, we sometimes mix in an ounce or two of formula just to make sure the consistency is right, and to add something extra.

For lunch/dinner, we also use baby oatmeal and baby rice cereal to mix in with the veggies. For breakfast, our son usually gets 6 ounces of formula and some all-natural apple sauce with mashed up banana.

Using frozen veggies and processing them yourself saves a ton of money. Typically, an entire pound of frozen vegetable can last over a week for a six month old baby and costs a dollar or two. You just bought & processed a week's worth of food for the cost of one packet of baby food containers that would only last for a couple of meals.

You don't even have to freeze it, you can buy a squash at the supermarket and prepare it as you need it.

This phase doesn't last too long, then it's time for them to start using their teeth. I look forward to the fun of being able to share our home cooked meals with our son.

I saw Alex's recent column touching on feminism and was reminded of some of my recent interactions with mothers. I know these women through work and have to talk to them for work-related material, but being a new father the subject of children always comes up.

I'm aware of social boundaries, particularly in the work place, so when I get started on a topic I feel passionately about I'm always very careful what I say at work. A couple of women talked about how they hate the idea of day care but really need their job. One told me "feminism sucks" when I finally eased the conversation toward the idea that we're stuck in a conundrum of two incomes being necessary to maintain our modern standard of living. Our entire economy is built on the idea now that both parents will work full time and contribute to the economic pie, even if part of that contribution is day care for children who would otherwise be at home. Who wouldn't see this as completely backwards?

I used the example of student loans. Way back when, before student loans, colleges were selective but even private universities weren't insanely expensive. Since everyone paid their own way or borrowed money from the school at very low interest rates, say 1%, if they needed to, colleges & universities focused on learning instead of money. Once you involve student loans to give people the "opportunity to learn", even though that opportunity always existed, it artificially inflates the cost of education. Down the road, you have insanely high tuition rates and people end up having to borrow money to pay it off with future income, another symptom of our debt culture. Never mind the fact that now everyone goes to school for a bachelor's, watering down the meaning for those who truly belonged in an advanced academic environment after grade school.

The same is true for the women's movement. If you inject a ton of new people into the work force, a few years later you'll have a spike in economic growth because family incomes on average have increased but prices haven't caught up yet. When companies finally realized they could charge more for services like day care and school, and credit card companies realized they could get more people to borrow more money, prices climbed. Now day care is barely worth the tradeoff to go to work for many women. Who would want to pay a good salary for someone making $10/hour to raise their child for 8 hours/day?

No wonder even women tell me that feminism sucks.

Whether you get along with your family or not, knowing where you come from is a crucial part of raising them. The side I know more about is my father's. Like many Italians post-WWII, my grandfather tried to find opportunity elsewhere. The country was in turmoil, and many were leaving. So my grandfather had a son, then left to go to Australia to find work and try to get established. Then he came back to Italy after a year or two, had another kid, and tried again in America. He ended up having four children and was able to finally bring them over after leaving his whole family to get established.

My grandfather was fairly innovative in that he was able to get his hands on an automobile and use it for commercial purposes - hauling people and goods - to and from other areas of the country before he left Italy, when no one else in his town had a car. He had amassed some money, not easy in those days, so my question to my father was always: Why did he want to leave if he was succeeding and building wealth?

There were a few reasons. One was the mafiosi in the region. They knew of the people who had means, and they would find ways to get money out of them. If they couldn't find an easy way, they would simply kidnap children and bring them into the hills to send random notes. My father told me his mother would always make sure he was close by her for this reason while he was growing up there. Anyone with a skill set they knew they could put to good use elsewhere and be paid well for it with little fear of this kind of passive-aggressive retaliation would be foolish to not leave - the opportunities were too good to pass up, and outweighed the culture & roots about which many had become disenchanted anyway.

The other reason was that, regardless of mafiosi, if you were successful in a small village of people who knew you and your family, these people would find ways to hate you. This goes to my point above in eliminating traits best left behind. While proud of my heritage, I know many Italians - just like in any other culture - are lazy, jealous people who would rather see people kept closer to their level than succeed. This is crowdism at its finest. If my grandfather had stayed behind and managed to not get mixed up in any of the mafiosi business, his fellow villagers wouldn't look too kindly on him if he stayed. They would have seen him building a better life while they were content to go with the flow of whatever government was popular that week - something for which Italians are notorious.

Stretching back further, something I didn't know until recently is that my great grandfather was one of the immigrants who helped build the interstate system (up through Vermont). Growing up outside of the place most of my ancestors did, then having to ask about my family's background from another country has been interesting. As I noted in the interview I did for Alex, part of my identity comes from a place I've only been able to visit three times in my life, and most of it comes from the area I was born in and have stayed in. Asking questions about my background has taught me a few things: that some of my traits are obviously carried over from my father and grandfather, and there were some I never realized that were carried over from past generations. Visiting the place my father's side of the family came from also motivated me to ask more about my family's past, something I recommend for parents to do with their children when they can afford it.

I've continued going to the gym in recent weeks, taking a little break around the holidays and on days where I had to shovel for over an hour.

I first went downstairs to the gym in my work building and the personal trainer offered a free session. I'm glad I accepted, otherwise I might just be stuck on the treadmill wishing I wasn't at the gym each morning. She kept some back issues I've had in mind and showed me a good 30-40 minute weightlifting routine to do each morning. There were enough different activities to do - including using a fitness ball for squats and pushups, etc. - that we split it up into "days 1 and 3" and "days 2 and 4", with a day to do whatever I wanted on day 5 if I were to come in a fifth day. I found myself going for two months straight, excited to see slow progress like adding five pounds here or getting my abs used to doing situps against gravity on the decline bench. Seeing my belt buckle go down a notch hasn't been bad, either.

The treadmill is less of a concern as I feel the weightlifting is burning a good deal of fat on its own, but I still get on there and walk quickly or run a bit for a total of at least a half hour each day I'm at the gym. It's a good way to end the workout after pounding one's muscles for 40 minutes.

I'm not into weightlifting for the same reasons Alex and Martin are, though. I want to lose weight, and tighten up my muscles, as more of a general health thing. Weightlifting with, say twelve reps each exercise two times each, gives my muscles more of an endurance workout than a workout geared toward explosiveness or building mass, and extends the amount of time I can lift (by taking shorter breaks between sets). I also find it useful to try doing ab work or work on the fitness ball between sets if I'm getting tired. This leads into some light running or fast walking to wrap things up.

It's a good routine, despite getting up in the very cold early morning hours of a New England winter to warm up the car, bundle up, drive in to work out. But when you're going to work right afterward, it's a rewarding feeling to know you've already accomplished something good well before you hit the desk. Then when you get home to your family, you know you're at least doing something to keep yourself active to remain healthy for a long period of time.

When we were searching for a house, we weren't concerned with square footage or whether or not the house would look good on HGTV. Ever watch those shows where annoying, yuppie couples pick apart a brand new kitchen and talk about how they'd add this or that? Our house is by no means dilapidated; in fact, it was built in the 1950s when people still built houses with pride. But it's dated, so it'll take some work to bring it to where we want it to be. This will involve a fresh coat of paint in the spring, and some other minor fixes. The "bones" of the house are quite nice - many people living in houses built in the 1980s would be envious of how solid the floors and walls are, let alone the craftsmanship.

More important than the structure itself is the land and the community. Our lot is mostly wooded but has a small patch of flat surface and a hill going up. This will be great for sledding when our son is outside playing in the snow, and nice for him to climb up and explore a bit of our land before he tires of it. It's still a suburban neighborhood, so there will be plenty of things to do outside our property. New England suburbs are a bit different than in many other parts of the country because the land is so hilly and uneven, and the area has been settled for so long, that there is very little room for things like subdivisions with same-looking lots stretching for over a mile. I've always felt this has added to the charm of living in New England.

Our particular community is one where people enjoy staying involved. We have lived here for nearly three years as renters and I grew up close by, so I know people take a lot of pride in living here. This is reflected in simple things like trash collection. Without giving people ego boosts simply for showing up with a recycle bin, they regulate how much trash you can throw out on a given week or else you have to pay extra for special bags or an additional barrel (the barrel has arms on it which can be grabbed by the truck, and everyone is given one). The documentation states this should push you toward using your recycle bins more, and you have to sort things a certain way. Some people would cry about personal freedom and time wasted on sorting your garbage, but it's quite easy when you get used to it - and this method comes with extra perks like free by-appointment appliance and electronic disposal, since it saves the town a lot of money.

Neighbors seem friendly and property taxes are kept reasonable by a huge swath of commercial space (corporate HQs, malls, etc.) that are all clustered together away from most of the residential property. Michael Arth would be proud.

While fortunate to have been able to purchase property in a state that is known for exhorbant real estate prices, we also worked our way toward this purchase with clear goals in mind. We didn't need stainless steel appliances or four/five bedrooms with a master suite and jacuzzi. We wanted to live in a decent community, not too far from family. I've known people who moved half the state away just to be able to afford a nice big house (and with it, a 2 hour commute). The problem is, all they ever see is their own home and their own immediate family, because they've moved into a community they don't know full of strangers, one neither of the parents grew up anywhere near. To sacrifice the family time and community roots for another 1,000 square feet didn't seem worth it to us, so we feel we've chosen wisely.

Is the world we (Westerners) live in really that horrible? Of course not. In many ways it's never been better. However, as we all know, a prophecy of Crappiness is slowly taking over our minds in the West. In short, we're supposed to feel guilty about the way we live. Some people use it as a convenient excuse to justify inaction. How about this one, which I was served as late as a week ago when discussing the Future:

Woman: I don't wanna have kids.

Me: Mmkay. Why?

Woman: ...becaaaaause.....we're living in such a horrible world.

Hold it. Rewind. Horrible world? Are you kidding me? A few generations ago most Swedish women would count on at least 1/3 of their offspring would die from either hunger, poverty or poor social conditions. Today they'd probably die because of overeating or accidentally swallowing a video game. Women today pull this argument a lot to justify their unwillingness to form a family, but I think it all pretty much comes down to hormones.

Women who are not very feminine, e.g. have less of estrogen, usually don't get along all that well with children. They don't think they're cute, they're mostly in the way, and their childishness becomes somewhat of a problem. Women like that feel emotionally alien to the task of motherhood, and so they rationalize their emotional viewpoint by saying the world is shit. Well, it's not, and even if it was, it's a lousy argument for a lot of reasons:

(1) Even if it was horrible, it hasn't stopped millions of mothers to give birth before in history, or today.

(2) Good thing you're aware of this horrible state we're in, because that means you can pass that knowledge on to your child and teach it to change the world to make a better place.

(3) Exactly how do you add to the world of horror, or avoid its crappiness, by having a child?

(4) Every child, everywhere, is going to face horror sooner or later in life. Maybe it's better with sooner rather than later.

As I've said before, I don't have a problem with unfeminine women or feminists in general. I like most of them. I just realize that many of them will not become mothers, and I wish they'd stand for what they are instead of trying to justify their emotions with lousy arguments that are supposed to convince other women of their righteousness. Let's face it girls, you're a minority. Most women love pink colors, cute babies and French kissing. The crappiness-argument is bullshit, and we all know it, so let's move on (and have some kids).

Our son is now past four months old. In a previous post, I had mentioned that he was sleeping well and now in his own room. But as many parents and doctors have told us, just when you think you have a routine pegged down, babies go and change on you. This ever-changing phase lasts through toddlerhood and then there are a whole new set of issues to deal with once your child is in grade school. But, one step at a time, yes?

The transition from apartment to house - with all the "house sounds" that come with it, like the furnace & sounds of wood settling - has been surprisingly smooth, though we are only on the third night in the house. He has begun to demand a bottle at 4am, which he's been getting, but otherwise sleeping soundly. Last night he tested us at 3am. As much as it hurt to hear, we had to let him cry it out until 4am when he was ready to have his bottle. As much as some - particularly in the Continuum Concept community - may disagree with sleep training, this is necessary in times of flux when both parents have to work, even if my wife is working at night. It's also necessary for other, social reasons, much as a four month old could care less.

The Continuum Concept would dictate in a case like this that the baby should sleep with the parents or in the room. It's a nice idea and sometimes my wife naps with our son. But it will only make the transition to social activities and schooling more difficult down the road, if the child is used to only constant contact with the parents, then suddenly gets ripped out of that when and if the parents are away for a few hours just to go out to eat here and there. Worse, when school begins, the child will have anxiety when away from parents for hours on end. This sets a bad tone for the future and for development. If the child is uncomfortable in school to begin with, how can he or she develop as a student? Many in the Continuum Concept board site that they can home school chlidren and not even use books. While I certainly have issues with modern education, a better system needs to be implemented; removing oneself from it isn't the end-all answer.

The idea that we should live like the Yequana tribe in modern society is absurd, and that's why I ultimately left the Continuum's email forum. I'd love to live that way, sure, everyone would. But there are social realities to consider when raising children in modern society. Much like Montessori education, it stops at a certain point and then children are expected to join the rest of the pack in modern educational facilities and modern living. These typically aren't as good or are at least very different from the systems in which they were raised. So as is usually the case, the best solution lies somewhere in the middle of local public school teacher and the radical new educational theories that can sometimes hurt chlidren when they eventually end up in the same colleges as children who went to public school.

My belief is that with a strong family and attentive parents, the exact type of educational theory or "concept" isn't as important as a loving home for the child. It might seem overly simple, but time will tell if it works in our case.

Things have been particularly hectic lately between the holidays and moving, hence the lack of updates.

So far, so good, is all that can be said. The holidays were wonderfully different, in the sense that they now revolve around the younger generation of the family. As people progress into adult lives, it's interesting to see which family members - extended and immediate - mature, which ones we stay in touch with, and which ones want to be part of the ever-changing life cycle. Some get left behind or become bitter, and as adulthood progresses, I find myself indifferent to people who don't want to progress into new phases of life.

This is a roundabout way of saying, "grow up", to people who show no interest in doing so. In America and most of the developed world, people enjoy extended adolescent years, so having a child in the same year as I turned 30 and bought a house forced me to do some growing up mentally. It's been a positive if at times stressful change; I'm happy to be living it and to face new challenges.

We've been fortunate to have lots of help & support from family & friends, hence the reflection on people who want to take part in life vs. those who want to deflect. Just yesterday, on a very cold Sunday morning, I had family members and friends I rarely see any more at my house and ready to help with looking at light carpentry work as well as bringing pickup trucks to help haul things where needed. It was a refreshing change. Then there are, of course, the pillars in our lives: parents, aunt or uncle here or there, siblings - who are always willing to help and who want to move forward with us as we do or have done with them.

Whoever said "a house is not [necessarily] a home" knew what they were talking about.

Alex recently wrote about how dressing in style can be important.

It's easy to let things slip a bit when you've just had a baby, and my wife and I realize we've let our wardrobes go a bit stale. I tend to use a similar rotation, so to speak, of outfits each week, for a couple of reasons: I see other people at work do the same thing; things are tough and I don't want to spend a lot of extra money on new clothes; I interact with less than a dozen people per day in my office job.

Still, we're not kept up all night anymore, but we are moving so our focus is on packing and doing things that don't necessarily lend themselves to running out and getting some nice new clothes. The winter weather also allows one to leave the house without much of one's wardrobe showing. So we forced ourselves to treat each other and picked out some nice things recently.

The clothes aren't important, but it's one element of personal appearance. As a parent, you don't want people looking at you and your family, and thinking, "well, if these two ever had any style, they've long since given up when they had kids." We feel good and are in good health, so why not complement that with some new threads once in a while, and ensuring pants are pressed before wearing them, maybe cleaning those shoes up a bit?

I also noticed that when I had to go to a different office location this week, I subconsciously remembered to have my shirts and pants pressed, and wore my nicer clothes to that office, which are usually reserved for interviews or occasions. I knew I'd be meeting new people and seeing other people I hadn't seen in a while. So the new clothes aren't just about making a statement and ensuring I look respectable to the outside world, it's also about breaking routine and not falling back on the old, safe wardrobe which equates to comfort, but sometimes staleness.

Seeing our child develop has been an enriching experience. We've been told by others to take many pictures, and it's easy to see why after looking at pictures from a few days old, then fast forwarding to now - nearly four months old.

We're already seeing a bit of a personality develop. Interesting and funny observations include giggling almost uncontrollably in the bathtub; shouting at his 'mobile'; the fact that he can already support his head very well and can sit in a Bumbo chair for a while. It can't be overstated how fortunate we feel that not only is he sleeping very well, but that he's healthy.

Things have been extremely stressful too, as we're moving in early January and work has ramped up. That added to the holidays has been a bit much, but this is where extended family comes in. Siblings and parents are usually more than willing to help so they can spend time with this baby who will rapidly change and develop over the next year. Even with a baby that is, relatively speaking, easy to care for, the help is always appreciated when one needs to pack, have a break, a date night, whatever. Maintaining healthy relationships across the entire family, and both sides of it, takes on added importance.

Once the emotional rush of becoming a parent is over, and the child needs routine and begins to grow, parents can sometimes fall into bad habits. If you haven't had time to work out or take care of yourself, it's hard to get back into those routines.

Even though work has been more and more busy lately, I figure since I'm not sleeping much, I might as well join a gym and get some workout time in early in the morning. These days, I'm up at 5am, at the gym with my laptop and clothes for the day at 6am, and at my desk around 7:30.

This includes weightlifting and cardio. The mistake I made when I peaked too quickly last time I was in a great workout routine, was doing just cardio. No abs, no weights. Alex and Martin would be horrified.

This time, I met with a personal trainer and told her of my back issues, so she set up a routine where I can lift pretty much nonstop for a half-hour, and I can choose to do some physical therapy and ab work for my back in between sets, then get on the treadmill for a half hour or more. It's dark and cold in New England in the early morning hours at this time of year, so running outside can be a problem.

Getting into this routine has helped. Our new house purchase is moving along too, so I'm already dreaming up ways to make the basement into a workout area: BRT ball, maybe some kettle weights, and down the line a treadmill for days that running outside isn't an option.

Despite the insanity of piles of work and a baby to take care of, staying in shape, be it via workout routine or doing things around the house as Alex has pointed out, is important. When children see their parents as strong, in good shape, and having energy to do things with them instead of always seeming exhausted, lazy, and watching TV during down time, it will only benefit them in the future. For me, getting back into good shape is preparation for doing things around the house, as well as doing outdoorsy stuff with my son when he is old enough to appreciate them - hikes, going to the beach, swimming, and sports.

During the overwhelming first three months of becoming a parent, what is sometimes called "the fourth trimester", exhaustion sometimes takes a back seat to the emotional rush of being a new parent. For parents who are confident in their ability to raise a child with strong values, this is especially true. It also helps that our three month old is sleeping through the night, though with some recent adjustments that have to occur depending on the sleeping situation.

For example, at first our son was in a basinette and right by our bed. He wouldn't know whether we were in the room with him or not, so this doesn't spoil your child, despite what some people say. All they know is that sleeping and eating and being held are needed, nearly constantly.

Now that he is drooling and probably getting ready to cut a tooth, he's also bigger. So we need to stop swaddling him at night - otherwise he could roll over and not be able to adjust himself to breathe. Getting rid of the swaddle from the night time routine is a challenge because the child will inevitable wake up more often without the comfort of being tightly wrapped. This has been the case for us, but still, we consider ourselves lucky in that our son sleeps very well for being so young.

His basinette was exchanged for a pack n' play as he outgrew it, and it's just about time for him to begin using his own crib in his own room full time. Some parents have their children sleep in the same room for long periods of time, some parents even co-sleep with their children for long periods of time. With the purchase of a new home and getting ready to move in after the holidays, the timing couldn't be better for adjusting our son to his new environment while simultaneously getting used to sleeping without us being right there. It'll be a challenge, but one we feel we can meet.

Most of my relatives should know by now that our child will not be baptized in the Church (Catholic, I guess is what you'd call it). Even though I was brought up Catholic, and received sacraments all the way up to Confirmation when I was 15 years old, my wife and I opted not to marry in the church. For her part, she comes from a religious family as well, and yet her mother was supportive 100% with the idea that we do what we feel is best. Religion is hardly worth it if you feel guilted or forced into receiving some of the most precious sacraments.

While my wife's family has their share of religious zeal (luckily this is in the extended part of her family), we don't see them often. On my side, I do see my extended family somewhat frequently, so the questions are starting to pour in about baptism dates. I haven't yet had the heart to tell them that there will be no baptism, silly: if we weren't married in the church, what priest would baptize our baby anyhow? The problem is, logic doesn't apply to the people I'm dealing with.

Religion is touchy, as there are all matters of tradition, not all of it healthy, that get wrapped into that one word and idea. My mother has a gown that plenty of her family had worn during baptism. There are priests my family and my wife's family knows. There's even my own personal Catholic guilt, still rolling around back there in my mind: is it okay to not baptize the baby? Maybe we should just to be safe?

Having a child was already a life-affirming experience, and I wouldn't want to ruin that by going through the motions of a ceremony intended to save the soul of a child supposedly born with "original sin". My wife says it best: "I don't think a newborn has ever done anything wrong, so how can they say someone so young needs to be saved?" Besides, baptism used to be performed in adulthood, when one could at least make a conscious decision to be baptised or not. If my son wants to be Christian or Catholic later in life, I won't stop him, but at least it will be his choice.

Yesterday was the eight week mark for our little bundle. By now, his vision begins to clear up and he is recognizing and distinguishing faces. So those first genuine smiles have come in and he's now smiling regularly whenever he sees his mother or father, or just about anyone who gives him the time of day. Obviously, there's little else that is more rewarding as a parent of a newborn. His sleep patterns are settling in slowly, such that he might sleep for 8 hours at a time at night. Newborns cannot typically put themselves to sleep, but he has done so a few times. Usually he just needs to see his mother's face before falling asleep and then he's out for a while.

My wife decided to take a work shift or two here and there. Nothing regular yet, really just a way for her to get out of the house and make a little extra money. She's only taking shifts during times when she knows I'm home. It gives me some time alone with the baby, but also reminds me that I don't have that safety net of Mommy close by to take him if he acts up or if I need a break.

Since that time, I've said to my wife on more than one occasion: "I admire and respect what you have to do all day while home alone with this child." Little angel though he is most of the time, it truly is a full time job caring for a child or chlidren - and we're lucky in that he sleeps for hours each night and is rarely ever inconsolable.

Even eight weeks in, I still feel good about even my own social life. All I really ever do is get together with one or two friends every week or two. Sometimes a bunch of us will get together and play a poker game, which we've still managed to do occasionally. So there really haven't been any issues of frustration such as, "I never get out of the house". If anything, I make sure I give my wife ample opportunity to head out and do what she needs to do to get a breather, but she hasn't needed to take me up on it too often.

The only concern at this point is ensuring we keep his mind engaged and developing. It's a bit early to worry about it too much, as long as he is seeing his parents and given the opportunity to observe things. But we try to make sure we go out for walks, that one of us read to him regularly, that he gets good face time with us, and that he gets "tummy time" to develop those arms and chest, so he grows up to be like Martin.

Instead of asking why we should bother with television at all, this blogger wants to figure out why some types of gratuitous behaviors are accepted in dreamland where others are not:

The violence-is-acceptable theme isn't limited to older audiences. Hey, Disney: What’s with the whole killing-off-of-the-parents thing? (Think Nemo, Bambi, The Lion King for starters.) Tom and Jerry and Bugs Bunny cartoons -- my childhood favorites -- are so violent that I cringed when I saw them recently, and was reluctant to let my preschooler watch them.

Meanwhile, people can get arrested for indecent exposure in their own homes, and TV dramas for teens (like BBC America's series, Skins) show little nudity but deal openly and explicitly with sex.

Who cares what is allowed on television? That's a fantasy world of media archetypes. Not something I would want my child spending a lot of time with. We like to think that TV somehow reflects our cultural values, that somehow allowing violence to be shown vs. nudity implies we accept it more. Maybe, or maybe the corporations which own the global news media decide what we see and don't care if we're desensitized to violence?

The fact that parents ask these questions of their media shows a larger problem: too many parents want the television to conform to their norms and control what's on television, instead of shutting it off and doing some parenting of their own. I watched Tom & Jerry growing up when I had occasion to watch TV, and I think it's hilarious. In fact, I still do. But whether my child sees this when he's old enough to watch any TV matters not. As a parent I'd rather plan a hike in the woods with him, or maybe some snowshoeing, when he's old enough to handle it. Tire him out with real outdoor activity, and TV will be the furthest thing from his mind, plus it will give us an opportunity to bond where the TV is good only for zoning out.

Recently, I was accused of being a eugenicist on Facebook, by someone I've known for years. This all came about because I gently steered him toward my theory that humans have nearly worn out our welcome on this planet and maybe it's time we trim our numbers down by about 19/20ths so we can rebuild in a more natural, organic way. That, or maybe a nice ice age comes along and buries most of our cities so we're no longer a blight. He, on the other hand, believes the Earth can sustain 100 billion humans with no issues whatsoever - just a note, that's over fourteen times our current population.

My views were hard to understand for him, as he's a conspiracy theorist and didn't get to the point of figuring out how humanity could effect such a change, only worried about "freedom and liberty", and thus blocked my account after getting the last word. This was after I decided to spin it from a father's perspective, and tell him that I know what child rearing takes, in terms of man-hours at a hospital, stress, nine months of waiting, resources, clean water, available food, distribution resources for all these supplies made elsewhere, etc. just so that one baby can make it from prenatal to postnatal care with no problems...Oh and don't forget those doctors, with their American post-grad degrees. That OB/GYN who delivered our son? He's about $100K in debt before he ever sees his first patient.

Of course, much of these niceties are a wall built around ourselves. If left to mother nature, most births would go just fine, but some babies would die during childbirth as mortality rates are higher in nature, all else being equal. I certainly can't imagine life without my son now, so I appreciate the medical technology. But I do have the perspective to note that no matter what we do, we will never be able to save every single baby and give him those precious first few weeks of constant parental attention, doctor's visits, warm blankets, and formula/milk. It's just impossible, at least with seven billion people on the planet: humanity cannot organize at that level and the resources are becoming too scarce.

The hilarious irony in my (former?) friend's rants, per the linked post above, is that he believes in the New World Order and secret societies controlling humanity behind closed doors. Centralized authority loves groups of stupid people in small areas, and with 100 billion people it would actually be easier, not more difficult, to continue centralizing authority. Spreading humanity out with fewer numbers would decentralize authority organically, as it's more difficult - and less attractive - to try and rule more people in far corners of the globe.

As a parent, my views on population, humanity, and life have only been strengthened each time I come home from work and look in my son's eyes. Reducing population globally can still be done safely and voluntarily, or even through more aggressive foreign policy such as "no more aid to dictators who show no regard for their own population". Why this is so hard to understand for so many people who fail to see the endgame of overpopulation boggles the mind.

My wife and I are generally productive in conversation. We don't yak about BS very often, and we usually aren't talking about TV programs. We talk about hopes, dreams, buying a house, and then the nitty gritty stuff like budgeting and more immediate planning regarding bank accounts and savings, as well as what's best for our son and what we can do to ensure we remain good parents.

Conversation without action gets old, though. We've been reminded of this lately, being in New England with some early snowfall and cooler temperatures fast settling in the area. We have no shortage of activities to keep us busy, even in a relatively small apartment. Our son will keep us busy well through the winter, but during down time, to avoid needless conflict & cabin fever, we will need to ensure we're kept busy with other things. Keep in mind television is generally not considered a viable option for us.

Two nights ago we had our first official "date night" out: dinner and a movie. We had a good time, even while missing our son, who was in the care of a trusted family member. We made sure we went to a nice restaurant, ate appetizer through dessert, and got a couple of drinks to loosen up and enjoy each other's company, then saw a horrible Hollywood film about...I don't remember, actually; there were too many young teenagers and pre-teens making too much noise and throwing things at each other. If it was just normal course of business, my wife and I out on a date pre-baby, I would have been annoyed, but I was able to laugh at both the premise of the movie and the idiots who go to movies on a Friday night. Entertainment abounded.

Continuing to keep ourselves busy will be hard as temperatures dip into bitter territory within a couple of months. As a family, the best we can do is to ensure our minds are occupied and take the few nice and unseasonably warm winter days and head outside, barring ice and snow barriers all over the sidewalks. Even spending too much time with extended family can get old, if there are relatives all too happy to volunteer information or advice for your newborn, which only leads to needless quibbling and damaged egos.

It will be an interesting winter, being our first as parents. Happy parents though we are, we will need to ensure we are kept busy and get out a couple times per month, and maintain our patience with each other when cabin fever strikes.

When babies are just born, small curls of the mouth upward when passing gas will look like 'smiles'. Babies are not actually capable of social smiles until well after one month old...and it's interesting, because as a new parent, you certainly notice the difference between the two.

Now that our son is over six weeks old, his gestures and expressions are becoming more obvious. When he's doing nothing but fidgeting around, as a newborn, one never really knows when he's passing gas, having a bowel movement, or is just plain fidgety/fussy. By six weeks, he's not quite as constantly fidgety while awake, especially when distracted with new faces, familiar faces, or activities like "tummy time" and being read to.

For most babies, social smiles appear around 6 to 8 weeks of age. These smiles are all the more welcome because babies’ crying also peaks around the same time. Some 6-week-old babies may cry for 2 hours a day, often in short spurts with one longer spurt in the late afternoon.

My wife was home when she saw his first social smile in response to her. He likes to relax in a baby chair with a vibrating mechanism running (this helps relieve gas pains; milocon also helps). She left to take a shower and he was crying when she returned, but as soon as her face was in his line of vision, his eyes lit up and there it was: the baby's first smile at his mother. Now it has become a frequent occurrence to expect a smile whenever one of his parents is around and he is alert.

At night, he is being an angel, for the most part. Where some kids are colicy, our son has even put himself to sleep on occasion, meaning it doesn't always take a half hour or hour of one of us rocking him - we can sometimes put him down when he's almost there and he'll drift off on his own. A lot of the stress and frustration of getting up at 3am to feed him melt away when we realize how rare it is for an infant to do this.