While the West is busy hating itself, Russia, China and other former super powers are building civilizational confidence to increase their competition on the world political map. It's no surprise that we at Corrupt have a few less admirable things to say about the West as it is today. But we're also hopeful and positive about society in general. A contradiction? Let me recap why the current Western status quo should be criticized, but still is both dominant and pleasant to live by:

Liberal democracy: Before the New World Order (pre-WWII) Europe was a collection of dictatorships, which later transformed into socialist Fascist States. During that time we saw a lot of tragedy, including economic collapse and genocide. Yeah, democracy sucks, but looking at history, it's no wonder our leaders wanted to abandon the old way of managing government.

Capitalism: Admittedly, capitalism has its problems. Yet we tried out socialism, in different extremes, and we saw that it completely failed wherever it was implemented. What happened when nations around the world, almost exclusively under Anglo-American leadership, began adopting a (mostly) free market principle? They quickly escaped mass poverty and low standard of living. Today not even hardcore-socialist countries like Russia and China really believe in a planned economy.

Multiculturalism: Even the Nazis get this one; we're living in a mass-communication society today. Regardless if you don't believe in bringing in lots of people into your country, your culture cannot avoid being influenced by foreign cultures, rendering cultural patterns dynamic and ever-changing. That diversity of ideas and lifestyles, one way or another, will exist also within pretty homogeneous cultures is a mark of the age.

NWO: Sure, it exists, a New World Order. Why so many people resent it is baffling, because never before has so many people in the world enjoyed such a high standard of living under extremely humane conditions. Maybe that's a problem in itself, but there's a reason to why the West won the Cold War, and why everyone else suspiciously is trying to emulate its development.

It may sound ridiculous, but at this point in time it's true. First Jews kept at home during the leftist-Muslim riot in Malmö during the Davis Cup. Now they're fleeing back to Israel. Sweden weeps anti-racist tears in the press, yet it feels guilt, because it knows it's ultimately responsible for much of the tension.

On the political arena liberals and leftists pretend to be enemies, but they always choose to take sides with what they perceive as the weak party. After WWII, the Jewish people was granted that role, and the Holocaust memory officially became the darker side of collective European history. But the diversity and mass immigration that followed that era, which Europe proved incapable of controlling, is now rapidly backfiring among sensitive groups who historically have tried to wipe each other out from the world map.

After the Palestinians and Israelis clashed together once more, and Israel with US backing boasted military superiority, the liberal-leftist camp immediately switched sides. Now the Jews were Nazis, and the Palestinians were the innocent victims of genocide. Liberals began painting swastikas on Israeli flags during demonstrations. Neutral Sweden provoked Israel up to a breaking point, escalating international relations.

Now Sweden faces the results. Its Jewish population is effectively fleeing the big metropol of Malmö to the Israeli homeland. The streets of Malmö are no longer safe, because rioting leftists and Muslim Arabs are ganging up to take control of the suburbs and communities. Swedish anti-Americanism and anti-Israeli sentiment have escalated into Yugoslavian-esque civil conflicts. The official establishment can no longer be trusted to understand the mechanisms of multiculturalism. And I can safely re-assert my original standpoint, which stands as firmly as ever: the European Right is truly the best and only friend of the European Jews today.

Racial differences can be discussed in polite society after all, and even featured on a mainstream TV program! They just have to be painfully obvious to the naked eye and have no really unimportant social consequences. Yup, Samoans sure do tend to be large. It's kinda interesting to see where the line for acceptable public discourse lies.

Have there been any condemnations of this as racism since the program was aired? I'm not aware of any, but maybe our American readers can correct me...

Multicultural governments in Europe all share one fundamental belief: that immigrants coming to Europe slowly and over time will increase their integration with their host culture and society. Of course, with evidence at hand today, we know that time span is sometimes longer than what we at first expected. In places like Britain, France and Sweden we've simply failed at large to create peaceful multiculturalism.

I don't know what it's like to be an immigrant, which is why I stay in close contact with all my immigrant friends to learn more about how they think and live. So I was baffled when my Iraqi friend suddenly decided to stop picking up Swedish girls with me:

Friend: A blonde chick just moved into our dorm. And she's well-equipped.

Me: I'm already busy on other ends, you make your moves compadre.

Friend: Nah, I'm going to try the Arab girl I met last weekend.

Me: How about doing both?

Friend: No, this one is obviously Swedish.

Me: When did that ever stop you?

Friend: I don't feel comfortable around Swedish women. I don't understand them.

Me *slightly baffled*: Okaaay. You've been living here almost all your life.

Friend: But I'm an Iraqi. I want Arab girls you know, I don't want to pick up Swedish girls anymore. I just feel at this point that my heritage matters more to me and I don't feel Swedish. I'm not a Swede, I'm an immigrant, and I want an Arab girl.

I didn't really try to talk him over, it wasn't my place to do so. Instead I was remembered of what European multiculturalists often seem to forget: people don't just abandon their heritage just because they move to a new place. Even if they learn the language, find a job and even end up in a diverse relationship, they'll have things inside that are alien. Reconciling these differences in societies that require agreement on fundamental values in order to exist at all, is one of the greatest challenges (or dooms, depending on how you see it) facing the West this century.

From now on I'll work on ladies without my Iraqi sidekick.

Racists are often insulted and denigrated in public. No one wants to admit that they like or support racists, so they are rarely praised. However, we have some good news for you! After Chievo Verona supporters chanted racist slogans at a recent match, Mario Balotelli applauded them as he was leaving the pitch. Although the Italian FA has fined him for this show of support, this is still something for racists to feel happy about. I hope some white supremacist organization raises the money so Mario doesn't have to pay the fine out of his own pocket. He is still young, after all, and even though he is no stranger to controversy we all hope he doesn't become discouraged by this.

Yelling antisemitic epithets in public is generally not socially acceptable, but thanks to some quick-thinking minds at one of the best American universities, we now have a way of getting away with it.

While playing his match, Franklin Cohen was told he had small genitals and asked if he liked bagels, a phrase his mother viewed as a reference to the family's Jewish surname.

. . . Giudicelli said Susan Cohen confronted his group about the bagel phrase immediately after her son's match and was told it referred to Franklin Cohen having a zero or "bagel" on the scoreboard at a certain juncture in play.

And the best part is: she totally bought that explanation!

HT: Deadspin

My hippie lifestyle at Sweden's most multicultural dorm ends tomorrow. After having trashed the place real bad last weekend during an Italian birthday party that went out of control, I now feel ready to leave this beloved place and move on to new environments. Here is a short evaluation of the people I remember who've lived here and why I like/dislike them.

Lithuanian girl: Never said anything, never spent any social time with the rest of us. Seemed to want to do good, but I rarely saw her do it.

Swedish guys: Just moved out from home, partying as if there was no tomorrow. They've just realized they actually need to study to succeed in class. Most of them are now among my friends.

Italian girl: Man for two, woman for four. She cooks pasta in the middle of the night while doing her hair--how could I not like her?

Finnish-Swedish guy: Like most Finn-Swedes he didn't say much, but when he did, it was often thoughtful and friendly. I sometimes saw him partying pretty hard down town, he seemed to be enjoying himself. Good guy.

Ethiopian girls: From a culture so different from mine that we never really could connect. They seemed to be troubled by the mix of genders and all the noise around them. These girls do everything together, even the bathroom business, and the brown stuff they cook smells horrible. I don't have much else to say to about them.

Iranian guy: This fella is awesome. He could throw out a bunch of offensive comments about women and gays without giving a shit. He even took the Italian up for a wrestling match on the table. When I saw him this weekend at our party, he showed me how to dance Arabic ("just use your ass"). I hope I'll run into him again in the future.

Finnish guy: Like Finns most are: quiet, non-sociable but friendly, and keen on booze. Even when this guy is drunk he's soft and quiet, save for his constant blinking with his eyes. A real nice friend I'll be seeing a lot more of in the future.

Belorussian girl: Came to be really disliked by the whole dorm due to her prissy and ultra-sensitive behavior. After having complained about people talking too loud during evenings, and attempted to cook rice in a frying pan, they had enough of her and began to play games with her. I don't really like how this developed as she was basically just a whiner, but I noticed today that someone had drawn nasty images on her door. I'm lucky to move out.

Afghan guy: Lost all sense of motivation in his studies, began reading karma books and then took off to Malmö again to work at McDonald's. Recent rumors have it that he's thinking of coming back to study again.

Kurdish guy: A great friend, but also a pussy when it comes to standing up for himself. This is one of the most integrated immigrants at the dorm, but to achieve that, he's basically denied his own identity and history. I think that's sad and see it as a real problem with multiculturalism itself, which seems to deprive people of their sense of cultural pride.

Jordanian guy: Very much liked by everyone, mostly because he does a lot to be friends with everyone and everything. This is sort of his problem, and he has yet to change so that he can stand up for himself even if he says something not everyone likes. We'll keep in touch, I'm sure.

Iraqi girls: I love the twins. Apparently they're not Afghan but from Iraq though, to correct previous posts. We've smoked water pipe and listened to strange music more than once. Even though their submissive character not really appeals to me, they are always happy and cooking something that smells good. I'll miss them greatly.

Iraqi guy: Together we've picked up girls five years older than us. 'Nuff said, this guy is solid.

Assyrian girl: We share almost the same opinions on everything. I especially like her religious beliefs, which should be imported to the Swedish Church ASAP before we all become liberal humanists. I hope she marries a kind, Christian man when she's finished her studies. He better have a tolerance for racism.

Chinese guy: Pretty fun to hang out with, but like a few other guys at the dorm, absorbed in TV games. I can't remember where I put his hat last weekend, but I guess I'll see him again in the near future anyway.

Russian guy: No one understands what this guy is all about. He never says hello or talks to anyone, save for the Belorussian girl. He just microwaves fast food, then disappears again for the rest of the day. His odd smile worries me. I don't trust him.

Greek girl: She never said much, but when she did, she was friendly, accurate and sociable. The last time I saw her she was moving back to Athens. I can't blame her--she's missing the heat.

Nigerian guy: His name is Gospel, which is kind of funny. He originally came from Finland. If that's the reason why he didn't say that much, I don't know, but whenever I saw him in the kitchen, he was making pizza. We didn't agree on human rights issues, but I liked the guy, he was intellectually sharp.

Summary: Does multiculturalism work? If you by "work" mean ethnic groups living in the same space but segregating themselves, yes, it does. Since this is actually a huge problem in the West today, I see this experience as a perfect example of how much fun can come out of living with people from different cultures, but also how it ultimately fails when there is nothing that really binds these people together under shared values and a shared lifestyle.

It's been a blast to get to know these people; sharing food, laughs, screams, and occasionally, tears. I wish them well and hope they succeed with whatever they plan to do in life. Me, I'm taking off to a new environment, said to be the worst (read: multicultural) area in town, to make new friends. I don't believe in the type of society Sweden has become today, but I take great pride in living in the intersection between heaven and hell. With a bit of luck, I'll make it through like the others.

Because of overwhelmingly positive response from readers, I continue to report from my multiculti-dormitory journey. I'm known to be humorous, but it's nothing compared to our house clown, Abdullah from Jordan. Over 30, always desperately looking for women, but always remaining alone, he provides many laughs.

A night at the club

(Me, Jordanian, Afghan and Finnish guys go clubbing.)

Jordanian: Man, Swedish chicks are HOT!

Me: Yep. I'm out.

Afghan: But there's no one dancing.

Me: I know, except those girls standing in a circle. If you wait 20 more minutes, this place will be so crowded you won't be able to squeeze in a midget. This is the time to start making contact. Abdullah, you're looking for girls, you come with me.

Jordanian: No man, I can't. I need a drink first.

(Jordanian goes to the bar, gets himself a drink, then slowly enters the dance floor when it's already packed with people. Standing in the middle of the crowd, holding his drink, he stares after girls.)

Me: What are you doing?

Jordanian: I'm looking out victims to hunt.

Me: Woo, that will just scare them off. Why don't you follow me to the 3rd floor?

Jordanian: No man, I stay here, I'm doing good!

(Four hours later back at the dorm, I'm seriously considering sleeping on the coach in the living room, when Abdullah walks in.)

Jordanian: Fuck this man!

Me: What, you got dissed?

Jordanian: I got NOTHING. I paid 80 Swedish crowns for nothing.

Me: You can't assume girls will run up to you just because you paid the entrance fee. You have to do some work.

Jordanian: That is just fucking wrong man, I'm going to sleep.

Anything is fine

Afghan guy: OK, I've quit my science program to go back to Malmö. What am I going to do with all of this food? I need money.

Me: You're actually considering selling that shit?

Afghan: Come on, these corn products are just 2 months old, I bet they taste the same.

Me: Even the brand is shit, I wouldn't touch that with a stick.

Afghan: I know..

(Jordanian comes in.)

Afghan: Hey, Abdullah, wanna buy some cheap food?

Jordanian: Yeah man, just stack it on my shelf.

New York, New York

(Jordanian is entertaining everyone about his trip to America, and how fucking great New York is, when the Afghan guy starts whining about massage again.)

Jordanian: You want massage, you go to New York man, they've got it all.

Afghan: What, they're good?

Jordanian: Are you kidding? Once I walked into a massage center. It was run by Chinese people, okay? So they undress you completely and then tell you to lie down on your stomach. So I was lying on my stomach and they massaged my back real good. Then the Chinese lady tells me to turn around, and so I lie flat on my back. Then she did this.

(Jordanian jerks his hand up and down in a masturbatory fashion.)

Everyone: WHAT?!

Jordanian: Yeah man, they do it all for you. After I came, they showered my crotch, and then they massaged my back again.

Afghan: They really masturbated you?

Jordanian: I'm telling you man, New York is the shit.

The Turk store

Me: I need cheap veggies.

Jordanian: Try the Turk store downtown, it's good.

Me: Do they sell those huge bell peppers?

Jordanian: They sell more than that. Smell this!

(Jordanian hands me what seems like an ordinary cup of tea.)

Me (smells the aroma): To be Chai tea, this is pretty strong.

Jordanian: That's because it's spiced with hashish--straight from the Turk store!

Endurance is a virtue

(Jordanian is cooking, about to clean the frying pan, but the washing sink is occupied by Italian lady.)

Jordanian: Are you washing?

Italian: Yes.

Jordanian: Alright, it's okay.

(The handle on the frying pan is really hot, Jordanian is burning his hand.)

Jordanian: Okay, this is very hot.

(Italian continues washing.)

Me: Why don't you tell her to move?

Jordanian: No man, it's cool. Okay, this is very hot, I need to place this somewhere.

Dog and owner

Italian lady: Could you take out the trash?

Jordanian: Yes.

(Jordanian immediately takes out the trash. Swedish and Iraqi guys observe, feel afraid of the dominant Italian.)

Lesbians under the bridge

Jordanian: Man, I saw this really wonderful thing today. In Sweden you're not embarrassed about this.

Me: What?

Jordanian: You know, down by the bridge, I saw two women make out really hard.

Me: Oh.

Jordanian: Man, that got me (lowers his voice in an ecstatic way) really fucking horny.

Me: Heheh, yeah, sometimes you see those around.

Jordanian: In Sweden you never see couples make out in public like at home, but these girls, man...they were all over each other. I just wanted to go up to them and spice things up you know.

Doggy style

(Another one of Abdullah's entertainment sessions, discussing Karma Sutra with the Afghan guy. All the other guys are listening.)

Jordanian: Man, I couldn't study last night.

Afghan: You were tired?

Jordanian: No, all those sex books man, they drove me crazy.

(Everyone laughs.)

Jordanian: But there's some good shit in those books. They had this huge picture of a man doing a woman doggy style.

Afghan: They only do that stuff in porn movies.

Jordanian: What, you're kidding me? Doggy style is what you need to do when you've got a woman.

Afghan: No woman will do that.

Jordanian: You don't know anything about women. You have to move slowly. First you make love softly. Then you do something nasty. Next time something more nasty. Until you do her like a dog. It works man.

Afghan: No no, that is bullshit.

Jordanian: You think that's bullshit? That's how you get really pumped up man. The more doggy style, the more blood pumps into your penis man, it's science (gesticulates with his hands by masturbating in the air).

(Everyone laughs again.)

Jordanian: You just gotta pump it, pump it, pump it.

Many angry whites like to complain that society does not allow them to express their pride in and admiration for European tradition. That's completely false, though. Praise of "European tradition" is very much socially acceptable, and can even be used in advertising slogans, provided you follow two simple rules: it relates to methods of making food, and the food tastes worse than what you could get at McDonald's.

That's all. As long as you're talking about food which isn't appealing enough to become either popular or expensive, you're allowed to talk about European tradtion as if it were a good thing. See artisanal breads and pastries, for example, though it helps if the bread isn't too white - so don't try to push your luck too much.

Related: it's also socially acceptable to prefer whiteness in pigeons.

The happy life at my uber-multicultural dormitory continues. This time featuring my favorite Italian lady, Paola, whose beauty only is exceeded by her curious but authoritarian femininity.

Vacuum cleaning

(Italian lady is having dinner. Jordanian guy starts to vacuum clean the floor, then vacuum cleans the table (!) while she's eating.)

Italian: WHAA!

Jordanian: Yeah, I'm cleaning anyway.

Italian: Not on the table!

Jordanian: Okay, you're too bossy!

(Italian walks away, sentimental cuss words in Italian can be heard from the kitchen.)

Aftermath

Italian: Alex, I do not want to tell people how to clean anymore. I don't want to be hated.

Me: Come on, no one really hates you.

Italian: Yes they will! They think I am bossy!

Me (tongue in cheek): You? Bossy? No way!

Italian: Heheh. My girlfriends call me Little Adolf!

Me (feels a tickling feeling in my crotch, itches): Don't ever leave this dormitory, we need your fuhrer power.

Italian (slightly triumphant): Mussolini's old house is just a few blocks away from my house in Bologna.

At a random dorm party

French guy: So where you're from?

Me: Denmark. Helsingör. Here (points on a map at the wall). We eat pork all the time, and smoke a lot.

French: Danish? Awesome.

Italian: But Alex... you are not Swedish?

Me (angrily hushes at her): Shut up, this is my cover among exchange students!

Leaving a random dorm party

(Just outside the entrance to a night club, a girl and a guy on bikes crash into each other. The girl falls to the street, but the guy only seems to care about his bike. We stop to help her.)

Me (helps her up on her feet): You alright? Try to move your fingers.

Italian (quickly opens her handbag containing 9999 unidentified items, takes out a small bottle of special hand soap): Here, give me your hands.

Me: Paola, I don't think she really--

Italian: Alex, can't you see she's dirty?

Berlusconi

(Everybody's watching the news, eating.)

Me: Ha, Berlusconi at it again.

Italian: I don't get it. Why so much fuss about Berlusconi?

Me: He likes women.

Italian: It's not normal to like women?

Me: ... A lot.

Italian (doesn't really understand what I'm getting at): This is not strange, Berlusconi likes women.

To be or not to be Catholic

Me: Coming with me to the mass on Sunday?

Italian: Where?

Me: The church close to our neighborhood.

Italian: Mm.. no.

Me: Why not?

Italian: It's a Protestant church?

Me: Yeah?

Italian: I am Catholic.

Me (pretty speechless): Okaaaaay.

Marriage

Me: Ok, I just cleaned the fucking bathroom. I consider myself done here.

Italian: You should get a wife.

Me: What, you think I need one?

Italian: No, but you deserve one.

Me (nods): After cleaning those drain pipes underneath the shower, I deserve a whole village of virgins.

Italian: You should really come to Italy.

Police and prosecutors are to be told to presume that hundreds more crimes are "honour" based in a new drive to bring more offenders to justice.

Under the new guidance it will be assumed that an honour crime has been committed in any case in which there is the slightest sign that such an offence has taken place - even if the victim has not reported it.

The BBC has a great section on honour killings, which you can read wholly here: it corrects a few misconceptions and confirms other assumptions. Highlighted, I believe, also by the BBC above is how much the tension between differing cultural pressures is a problem.

As the BBC mentions, honour killing are known to take place in certain communities including among Hindus (the story linked here is a bit of a horrifying role reversal) and victimise men (especially gay men) as well.

I like this discussion in the Guardian about attitudes new and old, both in the article and the comments section. There's some evidence attitudes are changing:

In Jordan, Queen Rania has publicly called for tougher sentencing of honour crimes. But the parliament there has twice refused to abolish Article 340 of the penal code, opting instead to modify it and allow convicted honour killers to be sentenced for a few months only.

Pakistan however has voted to introduce a law to punish honour killers with the death penalty. And in Turkey, where honour killers used to incur just an eighth of the normal sentence, life imprisonment is now a real possibility.

Why are honour killings special, and not simply called murder? Here's one argument:

Killing a spouse for insurance is brutal and monstrous but it is an act only focused on the deceased.

But honour killing kills the deceased and threatens others. An honour killing uses violence as theatre to intimidate others. It stands to enforce a sexual code of conduct by violence and threats.

Here's another more detailed argument in the context of honour killings versus 'simply domestic violence'. (simply domestic violence? Now that's something you thought you probably you wouldn't see someone saying in the current political climate.)

Notice that the official position of muslims in the West is not condoning it; this is consistent with the incidents seem to be restricted to new immigrants. As well as this, looking at the incidents of honour killings on a case by case basis there're many unIslamic elements. This doesn't change that it is largely within muslim communities that honour killings occur.

I must take an aside to wonder how we women continue to actively defy this. How controllable is female sexuality, with anecdotal evidence on my part and by another person or two, of promiscuity in e.g. Saudi Arabia?

In general, these honour killings as they occur seem to have no justification to me: my prayers and thoughts with the victims (one of the only times you'd see a muslim spoken positively about in what seems to be a generally anti-Islamic blog).

However, honour killings are and can be used as a propaganda tool to justify the following:
-- global condemnation of values and beliefs perceived as traditional, including expressing disapproval over sexual behaviour.
-- misandry, including presumption of misogyny as men's nature.
-- non-selective anti-Islamic sentiment, extending to other religions.

Honour killings capture the consciousness of the public, with the incomprehensibility of them. A father, a brother killing a family member. Assisted by female relatives, even. It's somehow an extension of forced marriages. I examine all this being in the position of feeling that it could easily be me. I did not realise how progressive my family were until sorely tested with my brother's sexuality. Since I don't like hiding from uncomfortable ideas: I ask myself, do I deserve it? An honour killing? I remember seeing a video of Du'a Khalil Aswad and revisiting the issue in in Channel 4's Britz. I'd congratulate myself on how lucky I am. Then I'd ask myself not to bring shame to my family, because I start to believe more and more they wouldn't do anything like this to me.

In our continuing quest to bring some good news to society's most downtrodden group, we have unearthed evidence that white nationalists aren't merely a bunch of low-intelligence losers. No, there are some high-intelligence losers among your ranks as well, specifically computer geeks. They even feel powerful enough to take on the NFL - quite a mighty target to select, though as my favorite leftist has been saying of late there is no universal law that the NFL must remain popular. Perhaps you racist nerds can destroy it if you only believe in yourselves and never give up.

The numbers of your racist allies are rapidly growing. Remember late last year when some commentators declared America to have "defeated racism" on the basis that less than 50% of white Americans voted for a presidential candidate who is 50% white? Well, we have good news on that front as well - far from being defeated, racism is now found seemingly everywhere. It just takes a little more creativity to unearth than it did in the past.

"Surrounded by middle-aged white guys — a sepia snapshot of the days when such pols ran Washington like their own men's club — Joe Wilson yelled 'You lie!' at a president who didn't," declared Maureen Dowd in her Saturday New York Times column. "But, fair or not, what I heard was an unspoken word in the air: You lie, boy! "

Of course, it's fair. If inserting a racial epithet into a quote is wrong, I don't wanna know what's right. It is, moreover, common knowledge that middle-aged white men are bigots. If there's a problem with Dowd's premise, it's that Wilson likely lacks the intellect to string together more than two words per sentence. He is from South Carolina, after all.

Due to my chaotic housing situation, I'm currently living in an emergency dormitory so multicultural it's almost laughable. Believe it or not, it's actually pretty awesome sharing housing with people from 17 different countries. To shed some light on the more pleasant and amusing sides of multiculturalism, here are a few favorite moments from my every day life, confirming just about every ethnic stereotype you could imagine (leftists, be aware):

Me and an Iranian discuss homosexuality

Me: So what would happen to me if I went out on the streets of Tehran and humped another man in public?

Iranian guy (with a casual look on his face): They'd probably shove a large wooden stick up your ass.

Me: Doesn't sound too pleasant.

Iranian: I know, it's kind of wrong, homosexuals are a little bit human, too.

Me and an Afghan joke about women

Afghan guy: Fuck this, I'm tired of doing the dishes, I need a woman.

Me: Hmm.

Afghan: I need a massage as well, you know.

Me: Swedish women would slap your face if you said these things to them.

Afghan: Why did I ever leave home again?

I spot my Finnish friend in the kitchen, drinking beer

Me: Sofiero, classy!

Finnish guy: Mm-hm.

Me: Wait, you're drinking strong beer on a Tuesday evening?

Finn: Yeah, there was one in the fridge.

Me: But you've been drinking beer every day since I met you?

Finn: Every time is a good time for a beer.

Me (nods): You've got a point there.

Those precious moments with Italians

Italian lady: Hello, how are you?

Me (after a long work out, stumbles into the kitchen): Hello, we need more toilet paper in the bathroom.

(Me, about to pass through, but is stopped by the Italian.)

Italian: Hey, Alex, it's not nice to tell a lady like that about the bathroom.

Me: I know, but it's the truth.

(Italian looks deep into my eyes, smiles, and continues to pour olive oil into the frying pan.)

The Russian way of dealing with dissidents

Belorussian lady: It's not clean here.

Me: I know, I'm going to arrange a cleaning schedule soon.

Belorussian: But people need to clean after themselves.

Me: Yeah, but they don't, do they?

(Silence.)

Me: What do you suggest we do with people here who cannot clean after themselves?

Belorussian (with a deadly serious look on her face): Shoot them.

Me: ...

Swedes and alcohol

(Me, in the morning, walks into the living room to have breakfast, suddenly hears strange noises by the couch.)

Me: What the ...

Swedish guy: Uuhhh ...

Me: Are you sleeping?

Swede: Not anymore.

Me: And what happened to ... you forgot your keys at the club, didn't you?

Swede: Uh-huh, and I was too fucking wasted to go back and get them. Can I have some of your food?

Twins

Afghan lady: Hello Alex!

Me: Hello Isra!

(5 minutes pass.)

Afghan lady: Hello Alex!

Me (suddenly confused): Hel- ... wait a minute here ...

(Afghan lady, shines up like the sun.)

Me: You're twins, aren't you?!

Two Afghan ladies (next to each other, smiling like two suns): Yes!!

Russian cooking

(Belorussian lady, placing bacon and cheese on sandwiches carefully, then inserting it all into the microwave.)

Me (observing while waiting for fish in oven): You know, if you try just microwaving the bacon, and then placing it on your sandwiches, I think you'd enjoy your food more.

Belorussian (slightly surprised): Really?

Me: Yeah. Right now, you're microwaving bread, which will become bendy like rubber after a few minutes in there.

(Silence.)

Belorussian (bursts out in a big smile): Help me cook!

Me (first considers the offer, then realizes how severe this case really is): I'd love to ... sometime.

Microwaving, again

Me (comes home after work out, is greeted by Iraqi guy with a big grin on his face): What's up?

(Iraqi continues to grin.)

Me (ponders, then realizes): Noooo!

Iraqi: Yes!

Me: Who did it this time?

Iraqi: The Iranian. He cooked something in the microwave and it began to create smoke. The whole roof (gesticulates with hands) was filled with smoke. Both security people and the alarm people came and had to reset it.

Me: Geez, you guys should stop using electronic devices altogether, before you burn the god damn place down.

The toilet mystery

Me (during the dormitory meeting, trying to arrange a cleaning schedule): So, anything else we need to fix?

Jordanian guy: Yeah, some people need to stop throwing used toilet paper into the paper bin.

Me (baffled): What?

(Jordanian, looking at me.)

Me: People have thrown used toilet paper into the paper bin?

Jordanian: ... and not in the toilet, yes.

Me (still baffled): Okay ... uh ... heh ... well ... I don't think I need to comment on that. Take it away, immediately.

Jordanian: Someone did the same thing in the bathroom in your hall as well.

Swedish guy: WHAT!?!?

Toilet mystery partly solved

Me (about to do the dishes, observes a Nigerian guy taking dirty plates and merely showering them with water, then placing them in the dish rack): Hrm, I think it'd help if you used dish soap.

Nigerian (looks at me with a straight look on his face): Oh yeah ...

Me: It helps to get those plates clean, as opposed to just making them shiny.

Nigerian: I know, I know.

(Me (ponders): No, you don't).

Being Swedish

Me (amusingly cranky, having dinner, joking with the Arabs in the living room): Analytic philosophy is awesome. Maths too.

Afghan guy (suddenly opens the door to the living room, wearing a pair of blue sports shorts and a creamy yellow t-shirt): Hi!

Me: Take that shirt off.

Afghan: What?

Me: Now.

Afghan: Why?

Iraqi guy: Look, he's wearing the Swedish colors!

Me: We don't feature creamy yellow in our flag.

Jordanian guy: What does it say on his shirt?

Me: Who cares, he looks faggy.

(Everyone bursts out laughing.)

Me (after a moment of silence): No, seriously, you do.

The bike ride

Me (in the morning, barely awake, phone rings): Yeah?

Belorussian (excited): Alex! I've found a bike!

Me: Mmm?

Belorussian: Can you please come and help me? I don't know what to do.

Me: Mmm.

Belorussian: I come and knock on your door in 20 minutes, yes?

Me (ends the call, drops dead in bed): Yes.

(1.5 hours later, outside a kindergarten, looking over a bike together with the owner, while Belorussian attempts to sit on it.)

Me (to the owner): Has the insurance run out? Brakes are okay? Why are you selling it?

Belorussian: Aaaaaaaaah!

Me: Holy shit, she cannot ride the bike!

(5 minutes later, after it's sold, Belorussian lady can barely maintain her balance.)

Belorussian: This is so much fun! But I mustn't tell my parents.

Me: How come?

Belorussian: In Belarus, owning a bike is a sign of poverty, unless you're a child.

Me (grins): Everyone in Sweden uses bikes.

Belorussian (trying to maintain her balance): I know, and yet you are not a poor people!

I have written before that an asshole should never act insulted, but that is a good idea for non-assholes as well. During a recent Carling Cup clash between West Ham and Millwall, there was a good deal of violence and general unpleasantness - even more than usual when these sides clash. Some supporters also chanted insults at various players. Instead of complaining and condemning, though, Carlton Cole said the following about being called a monkey:

I heard it but it's football. I don't care. I know I'm not a monkey. I might be as strong as a gorilla but I'm not a monkey.

You've just got to carry on and get on with it and we got the result. That was the main point, the fans got what they deserved.

Being targeted is part and parcel of football. As you get bigger in football, you're going to get taunts.

That's the best way to react to insults - be dismissive or even act as if they were a compliment. On a lighter note, the vocalist in one of my bands was very happy that some old man who was angry at her called her a "snot-nosed brat". When you're 30 years old, that's just about the best compliment anyone can give you.

Bucharest, Romania - The day after Madonna controversially went on stage to defend Romania's minority population of Roma gypsies, the famous pop star has staged a press conference in order to apologise for her outspoken remarks, which she says have "deeply humiliated" her.

During her two-hour set, Madonna stopped the music for several minutes in order to patronise the 60,000 strong crowd. Continuing in her violent tirade, she also went on to heavily criticise Romania's traditional opinion of homosexuals, whilst wearing a 'sexed up' First World War-era German military uniform. She has now expressed "profound regret" for her comments.

The singer said: "At the time I didn't know how the crowd could be booing me for what I was saying, because helping minorities is really in fashion at the moment. Several Romanians have since come up to me to explain the situation here. Needless to say the gypsies sound really terrible, a lot like our problem with the Mexicans in the USA, but even worse if that's possible. I guess you really can't picture the impact of different minorities until you see the effects up close and personal."

She continued: "Many Romanians have suffered first-hand at the actions of the gypsies, including at the concert yesterday. I have now learnt to respect people's opinions, and will try hard not make such ignorant comments in the future."

Commenting on the Roma trouble at the concert, Bucharest's local police chief said today: "During the concert, a small wave of cheers could be heard from the rear section of the audience. It is now fully acknowledged that this was actually from the local gypsy minority, who had managed to sneak inside the concert to steal phones and wallets from the distracted spectators."

In response to the controversy, Madonna's troupe of Roma gypsy performers will now be dropped, to be replaced instead by disabled Nigerian Folk Midgets.

Some Western journalists are calling Joaquim Crima, an African guy running for minor political office in a small Russian town, "Russia's Obama". Are they really that ignorant, or just plain lazy? It would make much more sense (especially to Russians) to call him a XXI century Gannibal. You know, Alexander Pushkin's great-grandfather, who had one hell of an interesting life.

Pushkin was the great-grandson of an Ethiopian (or perhaps Cameroonian or Chadian -- it's all kind of murky) slave renamed Abram Petrovich Gannibal, who became, apparently, a godson of Peter the Great, then a general in the Czarist army, a military engineer, and the governor of a Russian province. (It's a wild story. Somebody ought to make a movie about this guy's life!) Voltaire supposedly called Gannibal "the dark star of the Enlightenment," although it's hard to nail down the facts about him. What we do know is that Pushkin identified closely with his African ancestor, and began a book about him called "The Blackamoor of Petersburg." Pushkin often played up his African ancestry, which just made him even more exotic and charismatic to Russians.

Russia has long been an empire ruling a great variety of ethnicities and the Russians are very open-minded about such matters. At the apex of Russian power, the empire was ruled by the steel fist of a Georgian. It's not realistic for a black man born in Africa to become Russia's prime minister, but Russians are obviously not racist enough to make local office unobtainable.

Crima's campaign manager, Vladimir Kritsky, acknowledged that a victory for his client was close to impossible, but said the Kremlin has promised Crima a seat on the district council in 2011.

"He will be able to do a lot of good for the region," said Kritsky, a 33-year-old former special operations commander. "He's a very smart guy, he speaks five languages ... this is an experiment that the Kremlin will be interested in supporting."

Any of you ladies who want to marry some rich guy, divorce him and take half his money might want to look into foreigners. Dienekes writes about a research paper analyzing several decades of Dutch divorce statistics with a massive data set of nearly one million marriages, and finds that:

most mixed combinations have a risk of divorce that is higher than the highest level of divorce in the two homogamous groups. The average ratio is 2.02, indicating that mixed marriages have a risk of divorce twice as high as that of the maximum level of divorce in the two corresponding groups.

All right, so doubling your chances of divorce sounds pretty good, but can you increase your odds further by carefully targeting someone from a specific nationality? Why, yes, you can!

We also find variations in the magnitude of the effects that are consistent with our hypothesis about value orientations. Combinations of Dutch and Turkish or Moroccan persons reveal a stronger heterogamy effect than combinations involving Dutch and Western European persons. The effects for combinations involving Southern Europeans are in between the combinations with Turks or Moroccans and the combinations with Western Europeans. When looking at combinations involving
minority men, the differences are quite strong. The ratio is 4.7 for combinations involving Turkish men, 2.4 for combinations involving Moroccan men, and 1.5 for combinations involving Western European men. Because European groups are more similar than Moroccan and Turkish groups to the Dutch in values and lifestyle, this finding is consistent with theoretical interpretations of the heterogamy effect in terms of value similarity.

That's great to know, though as in all situations involving different ethnic groups and averages you have to to remember that some individuals will be quite far from the average of their nationality (for example, I am white but don't have a flat ass), and to complicate things further your odds of divorce are also affected by inlaws. But the basic point here is that you want to maximize cultural differences if you want to earn that profitable divorce. Many wealthy men are quite well-traveled and international in their outlook - be careful around those, they might take a while longer to divorce. And, of course, you want to avoid penny-pinching bastards who will resist the divorce with all their might only so they can hang on to all their money like this guy:

America Alone: The End of the World As We Know It
Mark Steyn

"Civilizations die from suicide, not murder." This quotation from Arnold J. Toynbee opens up the first chapter in Conservative Mark Steyn's provocative book about the decline of the West. It suggests two things: First, the greatest enemy of the West today is civilization exhaustion, or the lack of will to defend its founding traditions and principles. Second, weakness is, to paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld, "a provocation" to imperial forces. Steyn's story takes place in the midst of a Europe in economic and demographic collapse, contrasted against an American super power slowly coming to an end.

Steyn's main thesis is that Europe has succumbed to suicidal demographic trends, essentially forcing it to invite mass immigration from North Africa and the Middle East to finance its unsustainable Social Democratic welfare State. Combined with native culture denial, an impotent civil society, and the multicultural doctrine of cultural relativism, Europe is, according to Steyn, giving in to the new great enemy of radical Islamism. The follow-up question to this scenario is obvious, and explained by the title: Will America have to stand alone to defend Western values against radical Islamism?

The answer is a sad but truthful "yes." America is a unique player in the West in that it hasn't (yet) adopted the European welfare model, has not yet entered the demographic decline, and has resisted the ideological suicidal virus of cultural masochism. To back his thesis up, Steyn arms himself with demographic figures, analyses of Islamic radicalization pre- and post-9/11, and an impressive historical knowledge of the relationship between the East and the West. His conclusion is startling and is likely to force many anti-Americanists and multicultural dimwits in Europe to alter their views about their own future.

This is a horrifying book to read, because there's actually little hope in the struggle to preserve what's left of Western civilization in light of the enormous challenges we face. But most worrying of all is what Steyn, with sardonic wit and cruel facts, describes as the real enemy we need to battle: the spirit of resignation. "The end of the world as we know it" is the world post-WWII, created for a short period of human history. Despite its negative aspects, it's what keeps our empire going -- but if we don't confront the realities of our time, our moment may not survive our generation.

Similar to school busing policies from the 1960s through today, a sudden influx of a new element - racial or otherwise - is sure to cause alarm and surprise from people who were going about their lives. This isn't about black vs. white, but more about different cultures being thrown together suddenly with no advance warning:

"I heard this lady, she was like, 'Uh, what are all these black kids doing here?' She's like, 'I'm scared they might do something to my child,'" said camper Dymire Baylor.

"When the minority children got in the pool all of the Caucasian children immediately exited the pool," Horace Gibson, parent of a day camp child, wrote in an email. "The pool attendants came and told the black children that they did not allow minorities in the club and needed the children to leave immediately."

"There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club," John Duesler, President of The Valley Swim Club said in a statement.

No doubt Al Sharpton will now move on from the Michael Jackson frenzy of the past couple of weeks.

It's easy to view this as, "poor black kids get thrown out of pool area". Well, the director of the club has two options here: play the "don't be a racist!" card, allow anyone into his private club, and risk losing all his other business, which would certainly change the complexion of the club. Alternatively, he can continue to keep the club private and not allow a sudden influx of children to suddenly make his club a day care center instead of a private country club atmosphere.

Since this is a story involving blacks and whites, of course you'll hear the curt little remarks: "What are all these black children doing here?", etc. You'll also see the media sensationalize the black vs. white element because they want to get everyday people enraged about something, so they can stop worrying about Michael Jackson or Obama's approval ratings and move on to the next hot news story (read: sit through advertisements). But in reality, this is just another highlight of what's wrong with diversity in our culture and how poor an idea it is.

Equal rights for all to go and do as they please usually means, lashing out by the peasants - regardless of race.

Racism in the West is generally a phenomenon associated with the ill-bred, ill-educated and ill-mannered lower strata of white society. But fear not, low-class racists! Thanks to immigrants from East Asia, white Americans who are better than you are now joining you among the ranks of the openly, blatantly racist.

As a parent with kids in a top prep school on an Ivy league trajectory, I must say I see this fear and loathing of Asian students among parents every day. “They’re taking all the top spots in the schools! My kid can’t compete, they are drones that work all the time!” You have probably heard many of the same things. I hear folks who would never be caught dead uttering anything derogatory about African Americans say the most unbelievable stuff about Asians.

Throughout history, waves of hard working immigrants have always touched off fear and racism among folks who were already here. The one difference is that past fears were generally a working class phenomenon — whether it be against Irish immigrants in the mid-19th century or African Americans post Civil War or against Mexicans today. What is new today is that, for the first time I know of, a group of recent immigrants is perceived as a competitive threat by the middle and upper class.

Don't forget to thank your Ivy-League-educated, Brooks-Brothers-wearing betters for making racism respectable again!