Out of curiosity me and a friend visited a metal club last Friday. The argument went something like "we're tired of the usual places to meet girls, this place has to be interesting." We couldn't be more wrong.

The DJ was a moron who suddenly stopped playing music, then began playing again, as if he'd never mixed music in his life. And only spotty, long-haired guys everywhere, jerking around the bar and screaming. Where were the girls? The few ones that seemed to exist were far from attractive and basically every rare hottie was already occupied on the dance floor, fending off four to five ultra-horny metal heads. Hilarious.

We also spotted a guy we'd almost gotten into a fight with some time ago. We left the place, pretty disappointed. Metal clubs work like punk clubs and feminist gatherings. These are places where homogeneous groups unite under something more central than socialization, like music or ideas. This means that if you like metal, you're likely to enjoy listening to music and drinking beer at a place like this. If you want to meet a variety of interesting people--forget it.

I've been to metal clubs before, but only for concerts, not really in search of pick-up opportunities. I don't really understand why you'd want to spend a night at a place where lots of nerdy guys are listening to techno-versions of Iron Maiden themes and fighting over a handful of unattractive girls. I guess it's a cultural thing.