An uninitiated Hermetic experience

[Flying Kites]

I dreamt the morning March 6th, waking about 0200, that I supped at a table with several people but notably one woman seated across from myself. Her features white, her hair absolutely although she was exceedingly fair. I simply remember a lot of whiteness in everything, blindingly so. This dream rapidly exited into one very memorable. I was in a rusted desert with nothing to the horizon but blue, clear sky. I was outside of a warehouse close to an open doorway to the interior of it, on the side of the building facing opposite the Sun and shaded. Outside this doorway was a water heater. I was kneeling to the ground and adjusting a pipe. This pipe had two interlocked levers and lifting one moved the other. This loosened the connection to the pipe allowing hot steam and water to escape. Figuring that the adjustment was enough, I ceased messing around with the thing, leaving it to spray. I then, almost expectedly, noticed the arrival of a beautiful woman. She had a red ballcap obscuring her eyes as she walked swiftly into the shade, or rather that I only noticed her once she was in the shade. She had on a white overall, short to the thigh above the knee and hung about the shoulders. She was tanned, skin nearly the color of her hair. Sandy blonde? She rapidly walked past me into the warehouse carrying some sort of supplies. I stood and followed being certain that I knew who she was. I determined her name just as I too had passed inside. I had pointed directly at her that my finger compassed from my direct line of sight to her face, her red ballcap now gone, disappeared, still walking away further inside and turning her head back towards me she smiled. She is Grace, I said. She agreed.

Something I have never experienced before then settled into me, or I into it, the description seemingly the same. I awoke from that dream to the darkness behind the eyelids. I did not open my eyes. An ecstasy was taking hold of myself, and I nearly reigning it through an intuitive process of feeling. Sparks filling the eyes where it overtook darkness. Winds roaring past my ears, although it sounded like murmuring at its weakest. Trembling throughout my entire body that I could not keep my mouth shut. My mandible slackened. I was able to sort of play around with this gaining some measure of control of my breathing and struggling to keep that mandible up. It just became too intolerable, nearly painful, and very loud! So I stopped and I understood that I stopped it. It makes me curious what could have been after that had I gone the other way through it if there was anything, although I suspect that circumstances are far from prominent for the success.

I don't prepare before sleep. I don't concentrate on breath and the final thoughts before sleep. I am probably developing ulcers from a high fat and high beer diet. I have injured my spine twice, twenty and seventeen years apart by being retarded and fat.

This was certainly no dream paralysis event. I have never had dream paralysis - Blood, Spasmoparalytic Dreams. Two friends have, and it sounded like true paralysis. The mechanism behind my confused control of the intensity of the sensations I experienced seemed to be in the breath and in manipulating a "fluid" behind the ears close to the neck, almost in the skull at the base. The more I concentrated on breath and this fluid, the more intense became the sensations until I decided that was enough and I backed out of it.

I have only had a joy in dreaming for as long as I can remember, the dreams being my most faithful memories. The child's tales of mythology I gave impressions to, I read early on that exceeded anything I could have seen from the static images of entertainment.

From an initiatic point of view, to know does not mean "to think," but to be the known object. Something is not really known until it is realized, or, in other words, until one's consciousness is transformed into it. - Introduction to Magic, Ea, On the Initiatic Nature of Knowledge

The date of the event coincides with a significant astrological transit. Moon sextiles itself. Mars sextiles itself and is conjunct to natal Saturn.

[antichrist]

People ask why dreams exist. The answer is that our brain needs them, or our minds need them, or maybe the world needs them. In any case, they seem to bridge worlds or layers of this world.